Your idea of fun on New Year’s Eve might be slipping into one of your Justice League onesies (and now is not the time to get into all the reasons why Green Lantern is the coolest JLA member ever), curling up in bed, and eating refrigerated day-old sushi while watching Harry Potter. Unfortunately for some, however, they have to incur quite a lot of discretionary expenses on New Year’s Eve to extract meaning from life, and one shouldn’t just sit back apathetically and turn a blind eye to their suffering just because one is blessed with the gift of minimum wage. The Internet is abuzz with New Year’s Eve parties, each claiming to be THE party; as Guardians of the Internet, we had to put an end to all the nonsense, so we did some research to get to the bottom of this and found Soiree II! We then headed to Events Plus to hear it straight from the horses’ mouths - yes, there are two of them.

Events Plus CEO Garo Varjabedian and nightlife guru Ahmad Beltagy are teaming up to bring you the New Year’s Eve party you'll be telling your grandchildren about 50 years from now. The two aces teamed up before to bring Kelly Rowland to Sahel, but their bromance is stronger than ever before with this one. “Garo is a very consistent event organiser and he is technically very powerful; I trust his management and I trust his name,” Beltagy says.

Soiree II is not just another New Year’s Eve party; Beltagy and Varjabedian are putting together a star-studded event with entertainers from all corners of the globe set to perform - the incomparable Rami DJunkie, Spanish songstress Patrice who will be accompanied by two super hunky male dancers, Britain’s Got Talent finalist and legendary percussionist Michael Fish, Spanish Go-Go dancers (a.k.a Soiree Sugar Babes), and bombshell belly dancer Maya Maghraby. Those are just some of the names they were kind enough to reveal; that, and a little bird tells us there is going to be a couple of VIP surprise guests who may or may not be willing to belt out some of their biggest hits *wink* *wink*. There is also going to be a Spanish gypsy fortuneteller in a special tent to divulge your future’s best kept secrets with her crystal ball, in case you are still mentally stuck in the fifth century and absolutely disregard the wonders of modern science.

Cairenes had their first taste of Soiree’s New Year’s Eve magic last year at Fairmont Heliopolis; the affair was a big success with over 1,400 attendees. Varjabedian singlehandedly pulled off Soiree I, but this year he wants to do it spectacularly bigger and better, so he joined forces with Beltagy. “I have a circle of people he doesn’t have access to; he has a circle of people I don’t have access to; so we need to combine those two together. We are kind of doing a lineup of entertainment that’s a combination of his taste and mine and, because the production is bigger this year, we shared finances together and we both invested in this,” Beltagy explains.

Soiree II is set to be held at the picturesque Royal Maxim Kempinski; the hotel is offering a discount on overnight stays to all of Beltagy and Varjabedian’s esteemed guests so they don’t end up crashing into the Nile River or run over a beggar on their way home.

As with all good things in life, there’s a catch: you can’t really go unless you have been punched by the Phoenix, so to speak. “I don’t want anyone to book; I want the people who were here last year. I send them a message informing them that we’re doing another Soiree and they can come and bring their friends, so we keep it closed,” Varjabedian explained. “To book a high-table, it has to be a group of 12 people or more, and for the lounges it has to be a group of 20. It's New Year’s Eve, so we all go out as groups. This is the best way to go about it to avoid problems so no one has to share tables with anyone they don’t know,” he added. That kind of makes sense because who wants to be trapped in a ballroom full of drunk strangers for seven hours?!

So, there you have it, folks! We did our part and dug up the year’s hottest party, which you cannot go to, and now you have to figure out a way to get in!