Where to Watch the World Cup

The World Cup is finally here. How excited are you to see a bunch of grown men run around after a ball for money? We can imagine very excited; how else are you going to escape your mundane lives but whole heartedly support players from a random country that isn't yours and cheer or jeer every kick, tackle and goal until the tournament is over and you realise that we all die eventually?

Well here are the best lounges, bars and cafes around Cairo who have secured screenings of all the World Cup matches. So you can sit at home and attempt to stream the matches online - our handy guide to watching the footy at home might help - or you can leave your house and indulge in a rawdy atmosphere surrounded by a bunch of other football fanatics. Check out the venues showing ther matches below. And if you don't know what the World Cup or Fifa or football is about then we'll let the brilliant John Oliver explain...

Amici Bar Heliopolis and Zamalek WILL BE AIRING THE WORLD CUP. Ronaldo shoots! He falls to the floor in celebration. You take a shot! You fall to the floor in inebriation.

"Cheer to your favorite team" at Fairmont Nile City's Bab El Nil. Come on Costa Rica!

Leo Messi eats up the pitch with a meandering dribble on the way to scoring a Maradonna-esque goal. You eat your burger and shut up. World Cup screening at Burgerque in Maadi.

Van Der Vaart floats a beautiful cross to the back post, will it go in straight? You are floating in the sea, the match is on at Jobos, Dawar el Omda and Clubhouse in El Gouna, Red Sea.

Balotelli dives in the penalty box. You dive into your pasta at Il Mulino, Maadi.

Samuel Eto misses a sitter. You sit down for steak at Le Pacha 1901, Zamalek

England have a penalty shoot-out. You already know what's going to happen, might as well enjoy your food at Carlo's, Zamalek.

Crunching tackle by Schweinsteiger, crunchier sandwhiches at Mojo, Downtown Katameya.

Neymar scores a bicycle kick. You kick back on the beach watching the match at Riviera Beach, Hacienda.

Xavi plays a crisp clean ball through to Torres. You clean your plate at Fairmont, Heliopolis' Si Omar by Events Plus, Event House and Promovision..

France thrash Hondorus seven nil whilst you watch on at Seven Grains.

Iran are playing Nigeria. Just have a beer and a sunbathe till the next match starts at Tabla, Sahel.

Felleini misses an open goal. You sit out in the open air at The Garden, Heliopolis.

Rooney!!! Echoes through walls of Tipsy Teapot, Maadi.

Drogba seems like he's at his peak. You dine at Mena House's 139 lounge next the Pyramid's peak.

Balotelli dives again. You dive into the pool again at Four Seasons, Nile Plaza.