This is neither the time nor the place for a caesar salad, Dalia.
2017 was a pretty… interesting year for the world as we know it, and though we can wax poetic about all the oddities of yesteryear, we’ll suffice it to say that it was a pretty great time for the world’s female demographic; having been the “Year of Egyptian Women,” and with multiple groundbreaking achievements in the fields of women’s rights, athletics and even representing a sizable bit of our cabinet, 2017 was pretty eventful for the female populace.
In similar form, women have been dominating the food scene all year-long, if these nifty insights from elmenus are anything to go by. So why not delve into what Egypt’s female foodies have been up to.
Reigning (Super) Supreme
It’s a well-established fact that you should never come between a woman and her grub, unless you’re a masochist. Not ones to let their dominion wain, female food lovers have set up quite the foothold over Cairo’s many nooks and crannies; the lovely lunch-loving ladies of Smart Village seem to have all the dudes beat out pretty badly, with both Rehab City and the Alex Desert Road area coming in close seconds. Surprisingly, female foodies over at Tagammoa, Heliopolis, Zamalek and Katameya don’t seem to chow down too much, even though Helio and Rehab are some of the most delicious places out there, and lastly, New Cairo, Sheraton and Maadi of all places have the least amount of ravenous ladies, and we’re talking Maadi here. You girls have to step your game up.
We’re going to assume it’s safe to say that women generally tend to plan things ahead of time (compared to dudes anyway), and although breakfast is usually an early-in-the-day thing, Egypt’s female foodies apparently start planning their Egg McMuffins as early as 1 AM. Seeing as they’re usually busy having to juggle a thousand things both physically and mentally (but mostly figuratively), they’re more into the faster forms of food like shawarma or a juicy burger, come nighttime though? They’re a whole other (dignified) animal.
We implore women everywhere to have breakfast whenever they want; early in the morning, nighttime, midday, breakfast is eternal.
More Sugar than Spice
Who doesn’t love a good cinnamon bun every now and then? Apparently for women, “now and then” isn’t enough; on average they prefer to munch at spots that cater to their sweet tooth more than anything else. Guys typically prefer the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” routine; the same order from the same place is good enough for us, but ladies like to switch up with a cupcake or three, maybe some froyo? Two-and-a-half cakes? Variety truly is the spice of life, we guess.
Whether we like to admit it or not, horoscopes seem to dictate a lot of our behaviour in all walks of life. Is it all just coincidence? Causality? Weather balloons? Who knows. What we do know is that female Capricorn foodies seem to be the most ravenous of the bunch, taking elmenus top spot when it comes to visits and orders, followed closely by Leo ladies (so much for lions) taking the silver, and less ravenous Virgos taking the bronze. It kind of makes sense that Scorpios came in last; they have more of an appetite for other things.
Astrological Eating Habits
Every horoscope, according to the Great Big Book of Things that should Make Sense but Don’t, has their own preference when it comes to literally everything, especially the caliber of numnums. Female Capricorns apparently tend to lean more towards leaner meals like Salmon, Leo ladies like to feel the burn with a spicier palate than usual, Virgos and Libras go for the more tried and true, timeless dishes like steak, fried chicken (yaaasss) and a salad to round things off.
Scorpios seem to go for the good old fashioned double-decker burger more often than not, but given how the writer of this article is a Scorpio, that seems kind of odd. Then again, the writer isn’t female, so maybe that explains it.
The Finer Things in Life
Diamonds, designer clothes, apple products, all that ritzy stuff is well and good, but it’s nothing compared to a particularly rich spread. Egypt’s female foodies have a thing for the finer eats in the country, and rightfully so; starting off with the (not so) humble Emperor Abalone, an exceptionally luxurious and gourmet sea snail, to exquisite bottles of lavish Kuro Shiranami, to choice cuts of meat and even more ritzy lobster dishes. Ladies sure know how to dine like queens.
Here's to what they'll churn out next after 2018 is well and done. Now if you’ll excuse us, it’s about time for lunch and we need to hash out what we’re going to devour. Cheers.
Check out Elmenus' full 2017 in review here.
Photo from @kitchellaegy.