On the Metro, we're all bored and in a hurry to get to places, that doesn't grant us the right to virtually invade each other’s lives with long unwavering gazes and Elissa's whiny emo songs.
Cairo's metro network is gigantic, and with its ongoing and massive expansion, it's almost close to connecting the entirety of this humongous metropolis. However, as convenient and smooth as it is to commute in the metro, there are a few biggies we could really do without for our subway experience to be a more pleasant, efficient, and stress free one.
Stop staring at other people's phone screens
It's a tight – sometimes very tight – space. We're going to be stuck together for a while, give me a chance to escape the awkwardness of our physical proximity in my phone screen without feeling self-conscious about my choice of wallpaper.
Stop staring at me
Have you never seen another human being? Apart from making me uncomfortable, it leaves me with only two options of retaliation. Either I stare back at you until your shame overcomes your bravado and you look away or I continue staring at my phone.
Stand on one side of the escalator
It's absolutely fine if you plan to just chill and hang out while the escalator does the job for you, but God forbid I am in a hurry and may have to pass you, I don’t need to worry about your disapproving hissing and stink eye because I disrupted your little chitchat with your buddy.
Don't bolt out of the train the minute the door opens
If we all exit the metro in a calm and orderly manner, it will save us all time and potentially human lives. However, when we all are scrambling to get out at the same time, like a herd of animals that just spotted a predator, sprinting for the escalator, it’s chaos. You can’t all pack into the skinny stairwell at the same time, in the end you’ll be waiting with the old ladies.
Don't turn the metro car into a tea salon for you and your BFFs
This happens all the time, a group of four or five friends engage in a heated debate in this one metro car, of all places, and suddenly you feel like you crashed a high school slumber party. You get to know everything about the squad, it's like watching a bad episode of 90210. LOL, joking, all 90210 episodes are bad.
Don't play loud music on your phone
You're minding your own business, thinking about the deadline you're definitely going to miss or that exam you'll most certainly be failing, suddenly Elissa's perpetual emotional distress comes barging into your thoughts.
Leave room for others to get on and off the metro
We understand the need to stand very close to the door when it's packed; you get slightly more room and can easily get off when you get to your station. But have you ever thought about how you're blocking the way for everyone who's getting on and off before you? Probably not, as you have successfully created a human bottle neck. No, you are not a bouncer despite how big you think your arms are, quit being a jerk, stand slightly in the back if you're not getting off next.
We claim the metro an open space, everyone has the right to do whatever they please as long as they respect their fellow passengers' right to urban solitude. If you don’t listen to me, I’ll just have to use the new Metro Authority’s complaint Whatsapp number, reachable at 01021778887.