Tuesday April 16th, 2024
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How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse in Cairo

Admit it, you've thought about it at least once...

Staff Writer

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse in Cairo

The worldwide zombie craze is unstoppable. All of the world is preparing for The Zombie Apocalypse after movies such as I am Legend, 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead and TV shows like The Walking Dead reached cult status. In Max Brooks' World War Z, the author visits the scenario of a zombie epidemic hitting the globe and how different countries, groups and governments would react to that. Unfortunately, Egypt is missing from his book. But fear not, we have collected all of our zombie knowledge and have created the perfect exit strategy for every Cairene. When The Zombie Apocalypse hits, CairoScene readers will be prepared...

Step 1: Locate Weapons

It seems quite unlikely you will survive The Zombie Apocalypse without a weapon. Actually, you will need two weapons as a bare minimum: one big one to easily do the job of smashing a head if the necessity arises and one small one, like a knife, to enable a lucky escape should you be surprised. You can find both these items in your home as you wait in vain for the military to save you. 

Step 2: Find Shelter

Let's face it, we're in a pretty bad spot to survive this Zombie Apocalypse. When people turn into undead predators, out to eat your brains, a population of 20 million people in Cairo alone doesn't come in handy. Don't make the mistake of assuming that survival chances increase on any of the Nile islands; Zombies don't breathe so they can most likely walk underwater. Think about that! Usually people would head to the mountains as ombies can't navigate through the freezing cold but that's not an option here, is it? The best idea would be to stay indoors because who knows what's out there. Attics without a ladder are ideal. If that can't be done, move your life to the second floor and destroy the staircase! When that's done, start barricading...

Step 3: Get Water

You would think getting water in a city built around the longest river in the world would be easy but once The Zombie Apocalypse hits and the country's infrastructure says bye bye there is no way that could be seen as an advantage. With failing water treatment facilities and lots of rotten meat floating in it, the Nile becomes a flowing disease. Fact is, the best way to survive is to stay indoors and wait for help or at least the emergence of a better plan. Since this can take a few weeks (maybe months, maybe years), you will need lot of water. Instead of hitting the supermarket first, fill all containers there are with water: bath tubs, basins, cups, pots and laundry baskets. Don't forget your toilet water. It's officially no more flushing time (not that you could).

Step 4: Stay alive!

There's a series of things that can kill you during The Zombie Apocalypse, and not all of them include carnivorous neighbours. Soon you will not only have to worry about the undead but the very much alive because, if you secured Step 1 to 3, they will be after your supplies. The more dead you seem, the better. If you must move, get yourself a bike. Think about it: it's fast, it's quiet and it moves in streets that will no doubt be littered with abandoned cars and probably lots of actual litter. Additionally, you should not underestimate the threat you are to yourself because you are never more likely to lose it than when you are alone in a room for months without anything to do at all. Try to occupy your time, distract your mind so it stays sane. Also, try not to start thinking of the past. You old life is gone. If you want to survive you'll have to get used to it.

Dos & Don'ts

Do: Avoid the initial chaos and stay as calm as possible!

Don't: Join the ongoing chaos, trying to leave the city via Ring Road. It's pretty much impossible on a normal day, why would you be successful on the day the Earth ends?

Do: You're bleeding? Man up and get a Band-Aid. Even if you're badly wounded you may try to find a solution yourself. You've seen The Walking Dead. Chop that leg off if you have to.

Don't: Do you really want to be in a hospital right now? The one place death meets the living? Everyone will have that thought so you shouldn't. Do not seek help or assistance at police stations or military facilities, not that you would do that anyways...

Do: Keep yourself occupied as you will most likely go crazy. Become mentally strong!

Don't: FREAK!

Do: Get water and weapons!

Don't: Do not waste time getting food, especially if it requires going to the supermarket where your cashier is about to make you the meal. A body can survive up to 30 days without food so starvation is unlikely to be the cause of your death.

Dos: Be selective of who to save as you can't save everyone.

Don't: Do not put your life on the line for weak people without a set of skills you can use because you may die in the process.

One last thing we need to say: good luck.

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