Friday February 23rd, 2024
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'Gods of Egypt' Trailer Is So Bad It May Hurt Tourism

The new Alex Proyas movie 'Gods of Egypt' has a trailer. Join us as we watch Jaimie Lannister fight the guy from '300' and point out everything wrong with this!

Staff Writer
Here it is, everyone! The first trailer from the new highly anticipated film, Gods Of Egypt, starring Jaimie Lannister and King Leonidas from 300 as the gods, Horus and Set. This epic film from the director of the mediocre film adaptation of Isaac Asimov’s classic novel I, Robot is sure to fascinate with its well-crafted story and attention to detai-- I can’t do this. Honestly, this movie looks like shit. 
These guys aren’t even trying to hide their accents! Let’s breakdown this trailer, shall we?
This opening shot is ridiculous. Ancient fantasy Egypt’s geography makes no sense. A lake with islands and the desert right there?
The gods were the kings, too? What happened to the pharaohs?

Lava dog is not scary or cool, and Horus looks like a cheap silver surfer with wings. 
I’m not an Egyptologist or anything, but isn’t the guy with the dog head Anubis? I thought Set was an aardvark/donkey thing. This movie probably saved so much money by just stealing all the character designs from Stargate.
Set’s army looks like a bunch of Iron Mans. 
Minotaurs, sphinxes, and the sandworms from dune? Jaimie Lannister doesn't stand a chance
“Bow before me, or die” 
“I won’t make that mistake."
What?! What does that even mean?!?!
Anyone else having flashbacks to that crappy Clash of the Titans remake from a few years ago? 
Aw c’mon! Why do you have to ruin the only fun to be had from this CG monstrosity? I’m sure there would have been some real gems in that comment thread. 
There is so much more wrong with this trailer besides the whitewashed cast and the few things we mentioned here. Let us know how you feel about it or what we missed in the comments.