How much is your heritage worth? Most people would say priceless but Qatar estimates it at about $200 billion, according to Egyptian Streets blog.
Now, we don’t know who Egyptian Streets is, or where they got their info but apparently Qatar are aiming to rent everything that makes us Egypt what it is for roughly that amount. They literally want to take over our monuments and landmarks for $200 billion. This seems like a ridiculous offer, but at the same time a great opportunity. We can literally give Qatar a bunch of stuff we don’t want and claim they are “antiquities”. I mean if they are going to rent out the Egypt experience we might as well give them the real experience.
First, we have to give them at least 1,000,000 street cats. Anything less is just not going to give you that true Egypt experience.
Second, obnoxious felucca salesmen. Nothing says charming walk on the Nile like having it ruined by a guy yelling that you and your date’s night should be completed with him and his boat.
Third, Koshary. I mean we love the stuff and trade has to be fair. Let’s give them something good.
Fourth, Donkey carts. Holy crap, take all the donkey carts! “Did you know Pharaohs used this for transport?” is all we gotta tell them.
Lastly, Bilharzia is a must. Pour it in your river to truly experience the Nile.
Now on to the good stuff: what we’ll do with the money. $200 Billion is a lot of money.
1. We recommend everyone gets to take one minute in a wind machine filled with money. Whatever you get, you keep.
2. Build Scrooge McDuck’s gold coin swimming pool. Everyone pays 5 pounds to swim in it. That way we let our money make us more money by swimming in money.
3. Build a new pyramid, Qatar can have our past but we’ll just re-write history.
4. Call Kanye West to be Morsi’s personally shopper. If we are going to have a president, we might as well have one with swag.
5. Bil mara, we can buy Kim and Kanye’s Baby and name him/her our latest Pharaoh. They’ll love it, we’ll love it and the world will love it. Pharaoh in Charge will become one of the most watched reality TV show. Think about the ratings and what this can do for tourism. No, really, think about it.
6. Repair our roads. It’s not all about jokes.
7. Our last recommendation is money fights with Bill Gates. Who ever wins keeps it all.