Sunday December 3rd, 2023
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Knock, Knock! Who's There?!

Ahead of June 30th, Sally Sampson uses her bitchiness for a cause. A cause every single Egyptian should believe in.

Staff Writer

President Morsi.

It already seems like I’ve written an oxymoron (‘moron’ ironically also being spot-on appropriate!) because the man that is Mohammed Morsi and the title ‘President’ don’t seem to go hand-in-hand…unless of course you are talking about the cheese ‘President’ in which case I can see the correlation in that both of them make me want to throw up in my mouth.

Thing is, I truly want to be topical and speak out about everything that is happening in Egypt, but every time I turn on my television set to see what’s going on, I (along with most people in Egypt) either a) fall asleep or b) end up screaming A7A so loud that the neighbourhood dogs wake up and start licking their balls in agreement.

In one week, we have had power cuts, water cuts, and petrol/gas shortages that are now not only affecting microbuses and the big ass monster truck vehicles that roam through Cairo (which was bad enough because you do not want to fuck off those drivers EVER!), but every single household too.

Those lucky enough to have jobs in this economy have been waking up at 3am to park in front of gas stations so they can get to work at 8 or 9 am. Others have taken the decision that going home at the end of the day is a luxury that they can do without for the moment and have opted to conduct mass sleepovers in front of gas stations. And practically EVERYONE is ready to cut the first motherfucker to try to cut the line.

I could plunge into a bitter rant at this point about how Morsi somehow managed to speak for an eternity that commenced on Wednesday night without really saying anything at all…but the truth is I missed his grand speech altogether. And the very fine reason for this was that I pre-emptively chose to do option a) Go to sleep.

I reasoned with myself, of course, whether or not it was worth sitting up and watching Mr. Morsi babble on for hours in a long sermon-like lecture that would’ve made even Sigmund Freud shoot himself in the testicles, and judging by Egypt’s reaction to his speech, I really do feel that following my instincts and sleeping all my troubles away was probably a good thing.

I have read the highlights (if you can call them that) of his speech, however and these are my thoughts so far:

1.Egypt and Morsi don’t mix.


3.Who are you?

4.Do you not live in Egypt?

5.Can you point to Egypt on a map?

6.If only one finger on my hand is raised, can you logically deduce which one it is that I am holding up?

I think that pretty much sums it up.

I just CANNOT BELIEVE that this is where the revolution has brought us and, in all seriousness, that’s what is so painful to come to terms with. The blood that has been spilt for the future of this country, the voices that broke through 30 years of silence on January 25, 2011 and the unity and freedom that had potential to flourish is what I believe to be everyone’s biggest heartbreak when they look around and see the way our economy has plummeted.

Where we are now is a far cry from the cries of joy, victory and hope that once filled the hearts of Egyptians, young and old alike. And I know, that no democracy can be built in a day, and that Egypt has many issues to work through before any sort of social justice can begin to see the light of day and that any government would have struggled, but to see our country helplessly and hopelessly plunge in the year that our so-called democratically-elected president (*belch*) has been in power, drives me insane.

So, if it’s back to the drawing board…so be it! I will not lose hope and I hope Egyptians will not either. That’s what makes June 30thsuch an important statement, whether or not, Morsi chooses to acknowledge it. He can continue to call the millions of voices ‘a minority’, and look for scapegoats, pointing fingers at people like a pre-pubescent, overweight bully in the classroom who’s just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, trying to shake off the blame but NEWS FUCKING FLASH: it ain’t gonna work!

If ever there has been a time to come together, it is NOW! This man (and ultimately the Brotherhood) has been in power for one year…I don’t think the people of this country can take another three!

And of course, they are trying to scare us out of going out into the streets and expressing our opinions by threatening us with the notion that force and aggression might just be on the cards for anyone looking to protest, but I think it’s a cheap tactic used traditionally by hypocrites and dictators, so I’m not personally paying too much attention to it.

There is the concern, of course, that the protests on Sunday (and over the weekend) may turn violent, but I know, that is not the intention of the anti-Morsi demonstrations and of the Tamarod movement of June 30th. That seems to be more on the agenda of Morsi’s supporters.

In fact, the very threat of things turning violent shows how far we still need to go before we can call ourselves a democracy and boast about true freedom of speech. I hope that one day we can boast and find pride in the fact that our nation is not built on one self-righteous opinion and voice, but on millions of different opinions and voices working together to help us evolve in the right direction.

One of my favourite scenes ever in movie history (don’t ask me why!) is in the animated film Horton Hears a Who when the Whos of Who-Ville have to rally every single person in the town so that their voices can be heard. The small seemingly invisible Whos of Who-Ville, who live on a small speck, need to unite their voices in order break through all sorts of barriers and crap to be recognised and heard by those seemingly bigger forces that deny their existence and threaten to destroy their world.

I think you know where I’m going with this…

Speak out, act out and be the change you wish to see. If you opt not to, the stakes are high and the future of the upcoming generations is on the line. The choice is yours.

I’m going to leave you with a quote that I think is rather appropriate:

The situation in Egypt is stable. We are ready for tourism and investment.-Mohammed Morsi