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Mr. Mosh-Killa solved Jay Z’s 100th problem. Just saying.

Hi Mr. Mosh-Killa
I stay awake at night wandering whether I should spend Eid in Gouna or the North Coast. Can you help?
Amy
 
Meanwhile, in North East Africa, a little Ethiopian boy lies in the desert with a carcas of an ox the only thing keeping him warm, wandering if he should just perish away and succumb to severe atrophia or walk 20 miles to the nearest well for a drop of water. But I think Electrum Records might have, like, DJ Misty on the decks at Club 88 so peace ya3ni, Gouna.
 
 
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Dear Mr. Mosh-Killa
Is it appropriate to spend your Eid money on hash?
Deda
 
Well Deda,
Your better off spend it on something natural like hash than buying ‘shit you don’t need to impress people you don’t care about’ and succumbing to the world’s consumerist hypnosis, governed by self-interested people that are not aligned with the health and safety of us as individuals or as a planet. If anything, by spending your Eid money on hash you’re telling God that you care about the world he created, and not the one created by Western media. Go forth and get high.
 
 
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Mr. Mosh-Killa
I’ve had long hair since I was a little girl. I really want to cut it short but my mum won’t let me. Should I rebel?
Menna
 
That kind of depends on the reasons you want to cut your hair Menna. Are you going lesbian? Then don’t, long hair is generally more attractive and you’ll get more action and your mum won’t suspect as much. Is it to make a drastic change after breaking up with a guy? Then don’t. Long hair is generally more attractive and you’ll get more action. Actually don’t cut your hair short for any reason unless you have the bone structure of Megan Fox, and if by any chance you are Megan Fox then yes I will allow you to rebel against your mum Megan. Life is short.
 
 
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Dear Mr. Mosh-Killa,
I’ve always wanted to see Amal Maher live at the Semiramis InterContinental on Thursday 9th of August, in a plush Ramadan surrounding, preferably with a 400 LE minimum which includes a sumptuous sohour. Is that possible at all? (sponsored question)
Ahmed
 
 
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To Mr. Mosh-Killa
How do I get over a guy? We only dated for 2 months and weve been broken up for 8 months.
Sarah
 
Sarah,
Don’t cut your hair short.
 
Send all your dilemmas to Mr. Mosh-Killa on info@cairoscene.com or tweet him @MrMoshKilla 

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