#Winning

Mr. Mosh-Killa,
I have a really shitty job and my boss makes me do a million and one things at the same time but I am too scared to tell him my plate is full. What should I do?
Nour 

Unless you’re a mobster and your mafia boss is asking you to kill too many people at the same time, this is probably a good thing. If he’s using you for many things it means he trusts you and that you’re becoming indispensable to him. The best thing you can do is march right into his office (showing as much cleavage as possible) and tell him you have an offer from a rival company for more money and you’re leaving. If he let’s you go it means there wasn’t much potential in the job anyway. OR he’ll  give you a raise AND respect you more. It’s a win-win.

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Mr. Mosh-Killa
I have explosive diarrhea but I have to go meet a client for work, what I do? Quick! 
Mike

Mike – go in to the meeting with a fake long phone call, showing how amazing your work is: “A million!? A million you say!? I don’t get out of bed for less than a BILLION!” Then, every once in a while (when you need to excrete), pretend to get more phone calls just to show how busy and good at your job you are, while sneaking to the bathroom. The client will be impressed, thinking you’re an important and busy person person AND you won’t shit yourself in front of anyone! It’s a win-win.

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Hey,
My ex-girlfriend keeps getting  in contact with me but I am happy in my current relationship. I do get a big dose of self-satisfaction when her name flashes on my phone but at the same time, I don’t want her to think there’s a possibility of us getting back together. What do you think I should do?
T. 

Hello T. What you’re describing is a pretty typical scenario: we all suffer a massive blow to our egos when a relationship ends and we want to rebuild it by having the other person lust after us the way we once lusted after them.You need to tell your ex that you’re seeing someone new and she’ll always be a friend to you. This will serve to drive her more towards you and you will still seem like the good guy! It’s a win-win.

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Mr.Mosh-Killa,
I’m depressed. Tell me a joke?
Lara

Two dragons walk into the bar, one says to the other:
“Is it hot in here?”

The other one says:
“Close your mouth. It’s a win-win.”

You can send all your dramas and dilemmas to Mr. Mosh-Killa on info@cairoscene.com or Tweet him at @MrMoshKilla