Friday March 31st, 2023
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A Baby's Plot to Kill a Cop

A nine-month-old Pakistani baby has just been released on bail after being arrested for attempted murder.

Staff Writer

Look into the eyes of this cold, calculating attempted cop killer, who clearly shows no remorse, instilling fear into the hearts of a police force, even though he doesn't know how to talk yet. Beating out Saudi Arabia for the most absurd arrest is Lahore, Pakistan, where a nine-month-old baby was subsequently presented to a judge on Thursday to face charges for allegedly attempting to murder a police officer.

Baby Mohammad Mosa Khan was calm about the charges never admitting his guilt or innocence, but did start crying when they dipped his thumb in ink to print the bail bond. The junior popo hater who is unable to stand up on his own will face charges alongside his whole family.

The charges were the result of a police raid during which the family allegedly responded by attacking officers with wooden rods and stones. Apparently, the raid was in response to the child's father protest over electricity shortage. Instead of charging the father, the Police Sub-Inspector Kashif Ahmed decided to book every member of his family.

Thankfully this did not sit well with Punjab's Chief Minister Shahbaz Sharif, who suspended Ahmed and promised to take stern action against all officers responsible for the ridiculous arrest. In the meantime, the child has been granted bail and the case has been adjourned until April 12. Hopefully the court will see how insane this all is and dismiss the charges.