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10 Apps Every Egyptian Wishes Existed

When life’s a bitch, create an app. Our job at MO4 is to make life easier for you, so we came up with ten apps that would make life in Cairo so much easier. Please enjoy responsibly...

1) The Disperser: The Disperser emits a range of high frequency sounds guaranteed to rid your immediate physical location of unwanted attention and other irritations. Popular frequency settings include creepy Egyptian men and street cats.

2) The Seducer: The Seducer (made by the producers of The Disperser) attracts foreign woman by emitting an inaudible series of sound waves that stimulate the attraction section of the brain in foreign women.
3) Easy Listening: Easy Listening automatically detects annoying sounds and translates them into something more soothing to the ears. Car horns become ocean waves and a mother-in-law’s voice becomes that of Beyonce.
4) Good Grub: Good Grub utilizes the latest scanner technology to analyze food and determine its edibility. Users receive an analysis report estimating the likelihood that the eater will get food poisoning, salmonella, diarrhea…etc.
5) Fair Fare: Fair Fare determines the price you should pay for your Cairo taxi fare. Just set the app to black cab or white cab and hit determine fare. When you arrive at your destination, Fair Fare will automatically determine the price you should pay.
6) Park Right: Park right locates the nearest parking spot, provides you with directions, and also calculates the likelihood that the space will still be empty when you arrive.
7) Hashoholic: Hasoholic combines the latest GPS technology with insider black market knowledge to locate the nearest hash and international alcohol dealers.
8 ) Religgy: Religgy allows you to instantly calculate how religious someone is. Scan a zabeba or hijab and you will instantly know if you are dealing with an atheist or religious fanatic. This is an essential app for potential grooms.
9) Swear By It: Swear By It provides intelligible translations for hard to understand Arabic swear words and phrases. Swear By It translates into most major languages.

10) Shitclean: Shitclean locates shitafa-friendly hotels, restaurants, and other venues abroad. This app is a must have for Egyptians who do not want to shower every time they take a shit abroad.

 

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