Saturday December 2nd, 2023
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Exercise Beer

Some boozy boffins over in Canada have invented a beer/sports drink hybrid and we can't wait to try it.

Staff Writer

In latest news, we have received official confirmation of our longstanding belief (more like insistence) that beer is actually a miracle worker in liquid form. A team of Canadian food scientists is currently working on creating a beverage that combines beer and sports drinks. Bless you, Canada. You have offered the world a great many things, amongst them excellent weed, Ryan Gosling, and the entertainment value of your friendly neighbourhood crackhead/mayor Rob Ford, but this just might be your greatest contribution to humanity. We may just reconsider our lifelong aversion to exercise if it now comes accompanied with scientist-approved beer drinking.

Now, bringing together two great, but very divergent liquids to help you work out may strike you as odd, because alcohol dehydrates you (that's why it feels like an elephant is trying to get comfortable on top of your head when you have a hangover) and when you exercise, you need to be hydrated and that’s why sports drinks like Gatorade are chockfull of water and electrolytes. But, alas, you are mistaken, according to some very clever scientists. Though we never paid attention in high school biology class, we're sure as shit listening now. And so here's the science behind it. Much like the Gatorades and PowerAdes of the world, beer also contains lots of water (perhaps this is why you get a beer belly?) and electrolytes, which as we’ve established, your body needs after exercise. It also one ups energy drinks because it contains lotta carbs (no wait, this might be why you get a beer belly) and after a workout, your body needs carbs to refuel. So let's agree, with science at our backs, that it’s a good way to end an exercise session.

However, these Canadian angels were more interested in looking into how beer could actually sustain your workout and help with recovery. They discovered (probably after many nights of heavy beer drinking. JK.) that if you mess with the amount of alcohol in the beer and add salt, it actually turns it into an exercise-y liquid as effective as Gatorade. The 'beer', called Lean Machine, which the company would like to refer to as 'Recovery Ale' according to their website (a wonderful choice of name, we might add) is apparently "enriched with nutrients, antioxidants and electrolytes to help replenish the body after a good workout." It's set for release late this summer. 

Dammit we knew all along that beer was good for you. Suck it water!