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If I Didn't Have Kids I Would..

We asked our own Amy Mowafi what she would do if she didn't have kids. It took her 15 seconds to reply...

Occasionally the CairoScene team will remember that before all this entrepreneurial MO4 Network nonsense I was actually a writer, and they will deem to request a contribution from me... despite the fact that I am nowhere near as cool and hip as them (people still use the words 'cool' and 'hip' right?). My answer is usually "Fuck off, I'm busy." And their reply is usually "Fuck you, then." Because clearly I am completely incapable of garnering any respect in my own company. But when one said member of the team wandered (possibly lost) onto my side of the office and said, "I'm thinking of putting together a piece about what working mums would do if they didn't have kids and I'd like your thoughts on the matter," I found myself worryingly inspired...  

 1. I would go out every single night and down tequila shots till I was paralytic and smoke cigarettes until my lungs hurt. 

 
 
2. I would sit down on a chair and DO NOTHING for eight hours.
 
 
3. I would enjoy and appreciate how good it feels to take a poo without anyone interrupting me.
 
 
4. I would hear my own thoughts.
 
4. I would read a book. I would NOT read the fine print on medicine packaging.
 
 
5. I would not clean anyone's bottom.
 
6. I would do what I want.
 
7. I would have sex. 
 
8. I would go shopping and buy stuff for MYSELF.
 
 
9. I would be thin.
 
 
10. I would want kids.