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Rage is apparently quantifiable.

Sometimes, when I’m particularly drunk/psycho/annoyed/don’t care,  I let rip on everything I hate about Egypt. Those times usually end with people wanting to punch me or hug me. Since neither is really a desired outcome, I usually do my best to keep things in check. But when I don’t, I usually get one question that infuriates me: ‘why don’t you leave?’ So in my never ending quest to get people to shut up, here is some simple maths:

Muslim + male + 28 + single + Egyptian passport = terrorist

Artist + writer = 2,347,899,900 people who want to do the same thing

(Side note: they might even be better at it. If they aren’t better, a % of them would have gone to Parsons/Central St. Martins/Any art school really. Which really are > Journalism degree from AUC. By journalism I mean Mass Com, which really was my first mistake. But that’s another equation.)

Egyptian passport + Egyptian currency in bank account = Egyptian wine binges

(Phone bill + credit card bill + general amenities) – Bank account = -6,900,876

Job market in general world + my random resume = HAHAHAHA

Master’s degree(really?) + applications + emails + paperwork – funds + scholarship applications = groan

Getting over laziness + denial x applying + waiting for email that will change life = 0

Portfolios + emails + scouring the internet + follow up = 162 unanswered emails/2 years

See? Simple maths. Does everything make sense now?

For more of Hassan Hassan’s writing and art check out and follow him @h_hassan