Monday December 11th, 2023
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Mermaid Meat is Halal

Another day, another silly Sheikh's proclamation...

Staff Writer

On a daily basis, stupid information floods the internet, and everyday CairoScene sifts through the nonsense to find you the absolute stupidest aneurysm inducing nugget of Arab silliness.Today we highlight the breaking news that all of you have been waiting for. According to Sheikh al-Fawzaan not only are mermaids real, but thankfully they are halal to eat.

There is the ‘human of the ocean,’ there is something from a type of fish upon the appearance of humans, they call it the “ocean human” [otherwise termed as "mermaid"] and it can be eaten, it is from the items that can be caught and eaten from the sea, yes, even if it was upon the appearance of a man or woman...” explains the Sheikh.

We aren't sure what this Sheikh was smoking, but what we do know is we want some. How, in this day and age, a grown man can believe in the existence of mermaids, let alone eating them is beyond us. We could maybe understand if this was a child who just finished watching the Little Mermaid, but then again it is kind of creepy that his first thought is “Can I grill that?”

These types of reckless proclamations do nothing more than hurt Islam by making it seem absolutely foolish to the rest of the spiritual world. We guarantee no one is thinking of converting to Islam because of their stance on eating mermaids.

There is still no word if Centaurs and Sphinxes exist and what they taste like, but we’re sure that is another article for another Sheikh. In the meantime, forget about these stupid proclamation as chances are the goat legged devil is likely speaking through this misguided soul. If you believe in that sort of thing...