Sunday 4 of December, 2022
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Pork Bullets: Ticket to Hell?

An American company has launched a line of 'pork-laced' bullets, designed to not only kill Jihadists, but "also send them to hell..."

Staff Writer

Americans have always been heralded as the leaders in weapon innovation.The newest crazy trend in American ammunitions has Jihadists, for the first time, fearing martyrdom. For the longest time, the idea behind better ammunitions was to create bigger, radioactive bullets. However, the brilliant racist assholes at Jihawg Ammo came up with the idea of lacing their bullets with pork, thus denying entry to heaven for Jihadist.

Jihadists have never been afraid to die, but now they may have to reconsider their game plan. Many of the racists in America have put their orders in and truly believe that this is the best deterrent for terrorist attacks.

The Idaho-based Jihawg Ammunition-South Fork industries released this statement about their product:

“With Jihawg Ammo, you don’t just kill an Islamist terrorist, you also send him to hell. That should give would-be martyrs something to think about before they launch an attack. If it ever becomes necessary to defend yourself and those around you our ammo works on two levels,” they continue calling the bullets a “peaceful and natural deterrent to radical Islam.”

With close to 7000 'likes', the company has been trending real well, selling their ammo, as well as shirts claiming they “Put some ham in MoHAMed.”

Just when you thought the company couldn’t be more racist, they have realised that Jewish people also can’t eat pork and may be offended so they released this stupidly confused statement:

"Please understand that for Jewish folks the pork issue is ceremonial uncleanliness not barrier to heaven. Our Jewish friends understand this and this is why our product is defensive in nature - only works when being attacked by someone in Jihad - thus the name -Jihawg."

The only silver lining in this idiotic development is that hopefully these bullets reach Egypt in time for the 30th so everyone reconsiders bringing a gun to the protest (Calm down. We’re joking).