Tuesday 29 of November, 2022
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The Subway Sleepover

This week our resident foodie David Blank decided to slack. Suffering from a severe case of writers block he discovers that his daughter is a far better review than he…

Staff Writer

So one of my hippy princesses decides she wants to come over.

Fine. I always like that. But today I’ve got deadlines and explain to her that she can come stay over but I have some work I have to do.

No problem she says.

They always say that. If there is one thing I have learned over the years it is that women need lots of attention. And no matter how sincere they are, trying to work while they’re around rarely turns out very well. But by this time I’m committed. So I go to get her from school, from third grade, and she’s hungry.

I had planned on passing by the market to pick up some stuff to cook dinner at home but she says she’s hungry NOW and wants me to take her out for lunch instead. This too I’ve learned over the years: it doesn’t matter if they are eight or 28, when your hippie princess says she’s hungry you’d better do something about it. So I do.

Once we’re back home, I really need to get down to some writing, so I give her a laptop and tell her to go play. I figure she’s content because I’m not hearing anything, which means she’s playing an online video game or watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Masterchef or something. Doesn’t matter. I’m deeply into composing some nonsense for CairoScene and can’t be bothered.

At some point, during a bout of writer’s block – which is kind of like black block but more violent – I decide I’d better go in and see what she’s doing. She looks up from her laptop. I’m finished she says. What are you talking about? My restaurant review she says.

Oh, okay… good thing too because that writer’s block was taking on a life of its own… now I can procrastinate for an entire week….


Today at school dad picked me up (for a sleepover since my parents are divorced) and I ran into his big cozy arm. After that we argued about where we were going to eat lunch at. I said hot pot dad said home and we argued and argued hot pot, home, hot pot, home, hot pot, home, no I want hot pot and I annoyed him so much that he said FINE in a board voice. There was one problem with my idea. THE SHOP WAS CLOSED!!! I shrugged so hard that I almost lost my filling. So then I asked if we can go to a place where you make your own Fondue. So we went there but THAT WAS CLOSED TO!!! So finally dad brought up Subway. And I screamed “YES!!! you could have brought that up oh I don’t know 900 hours ago”

So we went to Subway and I ordered a turkey and white cheese 1 foot long sandwich and then they asked me again you want a turkey sandwich with cheese and then they said after all those precious seconds he finally said oh sorry we have no white cheese so I got mad but kept the madness inside and said ok any other cheese but just put some cheese on it. After that I needed the toilet but I didn’t think they had a toilet so I asked them to make sure but they said it was down stairs so I went down stairs but there were also tables and last time I came a bunch of teenagers came and made my day so when I went down and said they could have at least put a sign or something. After that I went to Stavolta and said make sure they don’t put Hershey’s on my ice cream because my filling can break and fall off. I ordered a chocolate chip gelato and dark chocolate on a cone it was delicious and I ate all up. After that I came home and started writing this.