Despite being the lazy creatures that we are, who find the idea of going to a single yoga class too physically demanding for our three-McDonald's-orders-a-day bodies, we would gladly swear off all fast food and head to this awesome Mandala Yoga Retreat in Marsa Alam in our quest to start making healthier life choices and live past the age of 42 (and also to get a kick-ass tan and spend a few days by the beach. And do yoga. Obviously). We are booking ourselves a yoga class as we speak so we don’t look like idiots when we head to this retreat, which we fully intend on doing.

The retreat is taking place at Marsa Nakari, which is a ridiculously idyllic village that looks like it just came out of a damn Disney movie, located just 40 km south of Masra Alam city, that comes complete with a gorgeous bay and electric blue water. The three-day retreat will basically be a mix of yoga, diving, snorkeling for those losers who can't dive (us), and just awesome nature. Goddamit it's like the paradise island from The Beach! Minus the creepy dystopian ending where people are taken off to die in the jungle… The village is also located right next to the Samadai protectorate, otherwise known as Dolphin House, which is one of the Red Sea's most important national parks. But that's besides the point. THERE WILL BE DOLPHINS?! WHAT IS THIS PLACE? We can finally fulfill all of our dreams and get our honourary mermaid badge. It also happens to basically be a coral wonderland for all those avid divers out there, where you may or may not meet a giant turtle (seriously).

Anyway, back to the yoga. The sessions will be taught by Robiwan McKennobi (does anyone else see the Star Wars parallel?) who's a world-trained yogi (not to be confused with the bear) who has practiced and taught yoga in Canada, Asia, and South America. The yoga guru has downward-dogged his way through the world (the very only yoga term we know) teaching the styles of Moksha, Moksha flow, Sivanada, Yin & meditation. Not that we have the faintest idea what any of these mean but we want in anyways.