Sunday June 16th, 2024
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Despaci-No: School Catches Heat After Kids Sing Despacito

School isn’t for singing ungodly addictive Spanish hits, it’s for learning, crying and being investigated by an administrative body.

Staff Writer

Despaci-No: School Catches Heat After Kids Sing Despacito

In another entry into the recent torrent of corruption plaguing Egypt’s school system, Saad Zaghloul Language School (did they mean for it to rhyme?) managed to catch the eternal ire of the Ministry of Education for having the absolute audacity to let students sing their own (adorable) rendition of Luis Fonsi’s Spanish ballade, Despacito, during the school’s morning broadcast.

A video of the despicable activity has been spreading like mild-fire on Facebook, especially between parents of the students in question, catching the attention of the manager of the Maasara region’s education administration, Abdul-Aziz Fahmy. In a phone call on Wael El-Ebrashy’s Al Ashira Masa'an, Fahmy iterated that he had received a report from the school’s Spanish language director (that exists apparently), stating that the song is in no way explicit, further adding that the song currently has the highest number of views worldwide. In response, Fahmy referred the staff member in charge of the school’s broadcasts for investigation, with the administration allegedly confirming the song’s 'clean' status.

Though it sounds like a waste of everybody’s time (certainly not ours), the administration kind of has a point here; if you manage to go beyond singing along to Despacito (and butchering it in the process) and decide to take a look at the lyrics, you’ll quickly find out that it’s not exactly child-friendly. True, it doesn’t have any overt sexual references or obscenities, but lyrics like “I want to undress you in kisses slowly,” “Firmly in the walls of your labyrinth” and our personal favourite, “Let me trespass your danger zones” aren’t something you’d necessarily want your kids to sing. However, a song is a song regardless of its subject matter, so a reaction such as this could be a bit too much. The Spanish language director might be good at Spanish, but he’s pretty shit at inferring almost blatantly sexual content.

In any case, try not to trespass on anybody’s danger zones - that shit’s illegal.