Breakfast in Cairo is becoming a pretty big deal. Egyptians are no longer content with foul or beid and basterma, and places like The Smokery in Katameya Heights have begun serving a breakfast menu to meet the needs of Egyptians that get up before 3 PM on weekends.
The restaurant is situated on a golf course, which sounds terrible. Golf is boring and no one likes it. But the view from The Smokery's big open deck is pretty kickass. The palm trees, along with the ginormous water hazards and greenery of the course, make it really Instagramable. Make sure to bring some shades, though; the morning sun rises right over the golf course, and it will melt your eyeballs right out of their sockets. Getting to watch people with lots of money futilely whack at a tiny white ball with metal clubs in an illusory landscape of green, built and maintained at enormous expense, is weirdly enjoyable too.
The appetizers were adorable little cream cheese and spinach crepe sushi things with the Smokery's trademark smoked salmon. The cappuccinos were like little foamy works of art that help me stay awake when I have to get up before noon. If any of you have read my last review
, you know I take my frothy caffeine vehicles very seriously. Following that up were some more of the most excruciatingly delicious breakfast foods I could have ever imagined, and I’m from where bacon was invented.
There were these little toasts with avocado spread, cherry tomatoes, and feta cheese on top that tasted like the entire Mediterranean punched me right in the mouth with flavour. Likewise, the giant plate of scrambled eggs on toast was spot on consistency-wise - creamy, and without any trace of that rubbery awfulness that can make eating chicken fetuses the worst thing ever. Also, they made eggs in bread - they hollowed a warm roll using some sort of cutting edge laser technology and cracked an egg in it. Then using the same superlaser, they cooked the egg in the bread. I tore into this abomination like a velociraptor, smearing bread crumbs and egg bits everywhere like it was the blood of that Aussie in a funny hat from the first Jurassic Park.
Dessert was a combo of french toast with plums and caramel apple crêpes. Again, if you’ve been keeping up with my adventures in fancyland so far, you know that I also take crêpes
super seriously. It was like my own viking funeral, and the epic dessert and fruit cocktail served as the flaming arrow that would send me on my way to breakfast valhalla.
Check out The Smokery on Facebook and Instagram, or head on over for your own breakfast-of-champs experience.
Photography by Fouad El Batrawy.