Saturday 10 of December, 2022
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Pantalones De Lujo At Renaissance Cairo Mirage City

Fancypants gets his enchilada on at the swankiest buffet this side of the Rio Grande.

Staff Writer
Some people don’t like Mexican food. I know, I know, you’re thinking that cannot possibly be true, but before you start chanting “liar, liar, FancyPants on fire,” hear me out; I’ve met these people, and generally, I don’t like them. They always have the same excuse for their poor taste, that 99.9 per cent of Mexican grub is just the same ingredients in a tortilla folded up in a different way. How wrong they are! Well, technically they are right but that’s kind of the best part. And don’t even try to tell me that a quesadilla and a chimichanga taste the same! Whatever the Mexican magic responsible, the chefs behind the buffet at Renaissance Cairo Mirage City Hotel have got it on lockdown.
Set up right by the Renaissance’s totally gorgeous pool, you could sense the allure of the buffet as soon as you opened the door. The distinct smell of spices and delicious meat snacks had my stomach pleading to me in espanol to hurry up and blow past all the lovely scenery and lighting and feed it some nachos. At least I assume it was speaking Spanish, it could have just been normal stomach noises and my brain tricked me because of the guys in sombreros walking around and the latin music playing. Speaking of music, the band played the Macarena which was kind of weird and also made me subconsciously go through the motions of the dance. I didn’t know a song that’s older than Pokemon still had that kind of power.
As the band Macarena’d, I headed over to the bountiful spread that was laid out on the buffet. I was overjoyed, as Mexican fare is kind of hard to come by in Cairo, that all my favorites were there. Quesadillas packed with so many fresh veggies and cheese that it was like eating an inverted pizza, speaking of which, right beside them were Mexican pizzas topped with corn, olives, peppers. Putting a quesadilla on my pizza earned me some weird stares from the guy playing keyboards for the Macarena band but I have no regrets. On the second round to buffet-town I loaded up my plate with tortilla chips and slathered them with several different salsas and a, frankly, obnoxious amount of cheese and set off back to my table, eager to devour my newly forged nachos. Then a saw a little buffet pod filled with all the constituent parts for fajitas, unabashed, I scooped a bunch of it onto the top of nacho sculpture. 
Between the giant mountain of fajita nachos and the subsequent return trips to try the seafood enchiladas and beef chimichangas I must have entered some sort of taco-fueled frenzy. By the time the lovely, sombrero wearing servers dragged me out of there, I was definitely ready for a siesta.