They say you can tell a lot about someone by their shoes. We actually mean it.
It’s time for another round of pure self-indulgence from your go to know-it-alls and this time it’s dedicated to all the shoe fiends and their excessive shopping habits. From local shoe brands Sedi and Zee to Morocco’s Zyne, no one is safe. Prepare to be called out in every dialect.
You're not about the classic - albeit canonical - shoe brands because, well, they don’t nourish your individuality complex nor do they enable you to adequately instigate your villain era. You’d rather find the perfect mules for those pinstripe trousers and slouchy leather clutch collecting dust atop your clammy closet shelves, and what better way to remedy all this than with a Sedi shoe?
If your nights out necessitate body con dresses (a little fabric asphyxiation if you will), iridescent glitter, Givenchy’s Interdit (the cherry flavoured one) and unreasonably tiny - although extremely cute - bags, then you are one with Andrea Wazen.
There’s a timelessness that follows you - as a scent trail would - into boardrooms and European fashion weeks. It’s akin to royal wedding guest attire - without the feathery hats and mesh eye coverings - and the Cannes film festival after parties where casually bumping into Robert De Niro is a rite of passage.
We’re getting ‘London Selfridges babe’ who wears berets and Dyson air wraps her freshly washed locks, and we’re here for it. Whilst your favourite pastime is perusing the most grandiose of Luxury department stores shelves and then grazing on Pistachio eclairs - and a Lavender latte - when the night comes to a close, your heart belongs to the flared heels of Amina Muaddi’s heels.
You’re a feminist, heavily inculturated and you also enjoy having your closet brim with staple pieces that carry cultures and rich stories within every stitch. Whilst still innovative the brand lends itself - favourably so - to the girls unwilling to sacrifice comfort for the sake of potentially less protruding cankles.
You own a pair of Maison Margiela Tabis and you cannot convince us otherwise. You also had a ‘13 Going on 30’ phase whereby you hyper fixated on that blue and purple melt dress Jennifer Garner dance-battled in. Still very elegant though, it’s a yes from us.
You’ve got taste. You’re the loudest girlie in the room, but that’s just your Leo rising making her adamant appearance. You don’t believe in being overdressed (because sparkle is an essential not an embellishment) and that’s - funnily enough - also the extent of where your moral compass can take you.
You can pull off anything, we’re talking loafers, Birkenstocks and dare we even mention fashion’s greatest faux pas… Crocs. Since you’re effortlessly cool and an indisputable trendsetter, there’s no better brand to accommodate for your experimental taste than Egypt’s very own Zee.