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10 Technologies Egypt Will Never Be Ready For

Smart homes? Self-driving cars? How will technology deal with Egypt when humans can't?

Technology is developing a rate unheard of in human history. However incorporating them into modern infrastructure will be the next challenge. Some countries will be able to adapt quicker than others... Then there is Egypt, who we imagine will never be able to incorporate the new wave of technology that is already here or on its way.

Police Body Camera

Here in Egypt we have trust issues with our police as all too often trigger happy police randomly shoot at crowds to disperse them. The list of violations could go on and on and it for that reason they would never except wearing a camera, because they still haven’t accepted being accountable for anything. If they were to be equipped with cameras we would imagine the footage would like an Egyptian knock off of the film American Sniper

Cryogenics

This idea has been around for a long time, and scientists believe they are close to figuring out. Even if they do it will never be used here in Egypt, because we still haven’t figured out how to properly provide enough energy to keep air conditioners running, let alone keep a man frozen for years.

3D Printing Customised Products At Home

3D printers are already around and is even available in Egypt. However, the future promises to bring the technology to your home so that you customise and make anything you can dream up. If this technology was made available to Egyptians, this country would become a massive mall wasteland that would quickly be buried in sand, only to be unearthed thousands of years later as the new ancient Egyptian ruins.

Autonomous Cars

What a dream it would be to never have to drive again...With the lack of proper roads, parking spaces, and traffic we can’t imagine Egyptians roads ever getting to the point for a self-driving car to know what to do when it''s stuck behind a donkey.

Stealth Suits

Why spend thousands of dollars on a garment to make you invisible when a niqab does the exactly the same thing?

Grindr

Doesn’t seem likely that this religious country will ever get over what is happening in your own bedroom. The police have been said to monitor this app to make arrests. It’s here, but we all know why you shouldn’t use it in Egypt.

Augmented Reality

The’re enough people in Egypt already pointing out why things are shitty here, so the idea of buying a gadget that will point that out wherever you looking seems like a technology Egypt will choose to skip as its ego is already at its lowest.

Laser Weapons

Do you remember the last time we made lasers affordable in Egypt? Can you imagine if they were weaponised? That’s why we assume they will never be made available here.

Drones

Drones are already around, but suspiciously missing from Egypt. We assume the reason for that is that it would be impossible to fly a drone without it being hit by fireworks that Egyptians love to fire both day and night.

Smart Homes

There is a lot of talk of homes becoming smart homes where everything is an expensive piece of technology that can access the internet. One product already in a development is a fridge that can order food from the store when it runs out. The question is: will the fridge know what to do when the grocery store themselves can’t find the product? Furthermore, no one Egypt wants to have to find a new home every time a sandstorm hits.


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