19 Types of Egyptian Shelal As Animals
We all belong in some shella or another; whether you roar, squeal, or neigh, you are somewhere on this list.
El bani2adam aslo eih? 7ayawan; animal, ya3ni. Don’t take it as an insult; we're being serious. We are all animals - probably the top of the food chain because we are the ‘smartest’, but still just animals. Similar to animals, we mostly live in groups together; these groups define us and uniquely label who we are. Around here we call those shelal, and there are about 19 types you can find in Egypt at any given time. Given that we're all animals anyway, we've linked each shella to an animal - find the animal and shella type that defines you; and yes, you can choose more than one. What animal group are you?
A Cackle of Hyenas
(Bto3 nokat wi alsh wi de7k bas)
We all know that jolly group of people who meet up to chill in whatever place just to laugh. It could be jokes, saf, alsh, or even just exaggerated sakhafa. This type of group finds enjoyment and fun only in laughing.
A Wake of Vultures
The flesh-eating vultures would eat you up dead or alive without a care in the world. This is the kind of group that spends their time talking shit about everyone else, and probably even spreading rumours and exaggerating their content just to spice up their stories. They probably think that they are better and everyone else is worse than they are; 3o2ad na2s, ya 7aram. You know exactly who you are.
A Drift of Piggies
(What are we going to do after we eat? EAT!)
We know that when someone says 'pig' you automatically associate it with something disgusting, but pigs are these really cute creatures that just eat a lot of anything. These groups plan their lunch while having breakfast and plan their dinner while having lunch. To them, it is always about the food and where or what to eat next. Logh ya habibi, logh.
An Ostentation of Peacocks
(Flashy and all about the looks)
Btoo3 el fashkhara wil manzara. These guys are all about that flashiness with their makeup and clothing; they even spend most of their time talking about their looks and the latest Dior bag they bought and the one they're planning on buying after that. To be honest, though, it is kind of entertaining to watch them.
A Bed of Sloths
(El metayzeen wel stoners)
"Rollelna el job ya3am." "La2 rollo enta ana mfarhad." We have plenty of these groups around Egypt, particularly because hash is so popular and so widely used. The only efforts these types of groups make is when they are scoring some hash or rolling a joint. They meet each other so they can just sit back and do nothing together as they smoke. Sabba7 ya 3am el 7ag.
A Tribe of Monkeys
(Funny idiots who are always clowning around and pranking others)
Monkeys love to goof around and act like idiots for the fun of it. The monkey group is the shella that is all about the pranking and horsing around. They would undergo any physical strain or endeavour just to find a few laughs - not too different from the Jackass movies. Darb, talteesh, aratees, ba3abees, or e2lam, anything goes for these groups of friends.
A Convocation of Eagles
(We are the best. Howa kda malnash fieh)
Eagles are a symbol of honour, power, respect, strength, bravery, and greatness. But an eagle is only truly as great as the height of its flight. An eagle on land would no longer deserve all these traits. Similarly, certain groups of humans live together with belief in their own grandeur, thinking they are better than everyone else with regards to everything. But, if you throw them into any realistic context, they would most probably fail with flying colours.
A Plague of Rats
(Sleazy bastards; sersageya)
Aywa elsersageya! Rats crawl around sewers drenched in their filth - with emphasis on 'filth'. In Egypt, we have these sleazy social groups that are made up of individuals who intentionally soak themselves in filth. They dress up in the tackiest clothes, with the most horrendous hair styles, wearing gag-inducing cologne, and they somehow think they are the coolest thing around. Habaybi, we invented the word bee2a for you.
A Bevy of Swans
(Shabab 7abeeba; bolobeef bolobeef)
El 7ob, el 7ob; el shou2, el shou2; moshta2, moshta2; bolobeef bolobeef. Everyone enjoys some good romance in their life at one point, but there comes a time when it is just too much. Some shellal live their lives in a never-ending loop of the hopeless romantic. They fall in love with everyone and, each time, it is ‘the one’. It’s either madly in love or broken-hearted all the time. Nas mashya te7ib 3ala ro7ha.
A Team of Horses
(Athletes, bodybuilders, and CrossFitters)
What makes a horse so special? Is it the speed? The endurance? The power? Or, all the above? Well, shout-out and respect to all you horse-like athletes out there, and much respect to the fact that you have become groups of friends to help motivate each other. Bodybuilders, CrossFitters, or runners, it’s great that you do what you do; just keep the camera out of it because the showing off obsession is just ya3 and to be honest your heightened fitness levels make the rest of us uncomfortable with how much we love pizza.
A Parliament of Owls
(Popping pills and snorting coke)
'Edrab di', 'balba3 dah', and 'shedelak linein abyad' are very common lines you hear amongst the drug-hungry shellal in the country. The owl was chosen after much deliberation and debate because of the eyes and the pure wackiness of how it turns its neck. We get it when people want to have some fun every now and then, or even just occasionally experiment with this shit, but this kind of shella lives for their drug-addled weekends; if a weekend passes without a singe drug entering their body then you can be sure it's because they have some kind of drug test to pass.
A Tower of Giraffes
(Lost, aimless, and random fashkh)
We love giraffes and giraffe-like groups of friend; they are just fun to watch. You know when you see a bunch of friends who just seem so hopelessly lost and goalless. The kind of shella that never knows where they want to go or what they want to do, ever; the ones who just move around randomly discovering what comes next. Taweel wi ahbal, ya3ni.
A Colony of Rabbits
(The horny ones; mish merawa7een gheer lamma n3mil wa7id)
Ever spend time at a café or a club and notice that neighbouring table with so much sexual tension that you know things are getting dirty tonight with them? There are plenty of shellal like that around the country now. The day is spent as a way to lead up to the inevitable sex or 3at that has to conclude it all.
A Pod of Dolphins
(They never miss a party)
We all know that dolphins are one of the smartest animals in the world, but dolphins are also known for their jolly sense of playfulness. Dolphins here represent a large percentage of existing shelal in the country: the party-hungry ones. We know those shelal that only always meet in a party setting or even meet to get ready for a party; all about music and booze and showing up and being seen and making sure not to miss a party because otherwise your coolness factor just drops.
A Crash of Rhinos
(Just give them a tiny reason to fight)
The rhino shella is an extremely Egyptian type of shella that is more prominent amongst an age group falling between 16 and 23 - most probably guys. Many groups of guys just feel the need to prove their manhood and strength by a barbaric tendency to fight for no logical reason. They hang around in settings that would give them an opportunity to provoke someone into giving them a reason to start a fight, just so they can have a good fight story to tell about themselves later on.
A Pack of Wolves
(Family-oriented; my friends are my cousins or siblings bas)
You know how wolves are so breed-oriented and dedicated to one another? The pack is always together as a family and always looking out for each other. Many friend groups in Egypt are purely family-oriented, as in, cousins and siblings are the pure composition of the group. It is kind of cool, but at the same time...perhaps you could make friends with people who don't share your DNA, just for diversity y'know?
A Company of Parrots
(Bto3 raghy fil halik)
Dol ba2a om el khara bgd. Wherever you go, you can always find a group of them, talking in their obnoxiously loud voices about almost nothing. Somehow they are just so capable of never shutting up, they just go on and on infinitely.
A Group of Dodo birds
The dodo bird is an extinct creature rumoured to have perished as a result of their stupidity. The dodo bird and fatayeen (bullshitters) are so directly linked because of this stupidity. Isn’t it just absurd to have a group of friends meet up and hang out all the time just to bullshit about everything to each other - a fucked up chain of chronic illogical lying that they all don’t believe but stupidly accept and reciprocate. The guys will make up endless stories about how 'ana sha2at el bent di weh ro7t el hafla di' and for the most part, it's a gross exaggeration.
A Pride of Lions
(One guy amid an army of girls)
The lion - ‘king of the jungle - is just the one male amongst a large number of females who do everything for him. Many groups are made up of a bunch of girls with just one guy in the middle. Not that in real world he gets to mate with all the girls, but he is that one most trustworthy male. For all guys who normally envy the guy in the pride, just don’t. Ya 7aram, el wad mafshookh bgd; he has to be the man with all the solutions to all the problems all the time, but he does get a bunch of shoulders to cry on if he ever needs that.
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