There's no denying that Egyptian parents are one of a kind - and we love them for it. But then, there are those times when they embarrass us so much we wish the ground would open up and swallow us...
Despite all the love, Egyptian parents remain the only people on the entire planet who know exactly how to embarrass us. In an effort to stop the humiliation we decided to point out the 8 things our parents do that need to be stopped now.
Bringing Everything We Own Any Time We Travel
No matter where we are going and no more how long we are going for, our parents have an obsession with over-packing. We aren’t talking an extra bag, we're talking about packing an extra room. As a result check-in times become longer as your mother swears it's within the weight limit and your dad tries to rearrange the luggage to make it look like less, while drawing embarrassing stares from people who just don’t understand our Egyptian parents who are wondering why you had to pack up all your worldly belongings for a weekend in Hurgahada.
Don’t You Wish Your Kersh Was As Big As Mine?
In the rest of the world, mentioning someone’s weight is simply in poor taste. Meanwhile in Egypt, whenever we visit family they have to point out whether we got fatter or skinnier. The bizarre truth is being skinnier is considered a bad thing while being fat is considered healthy, because well - if your parents paid to put food on the table, people must be able to see exactly where that money was spent.
There Was Only One Om Kolthoum For A Reason
Om Kolthoum had a voice like no other, which is why the Arab is still enamoured with her. And rightly so. However, that's also the reason she has had few, if any, worthy imitators. Your parents, on the other hand, haven’t even attempted karaoke before and yet they think it is perfectly fine to drive you and your friends around while giving their best rendition of Enta Omry, when in truth it sounds more like Enta Embarrassing.
The Well Intentioned But Always Embarrassing Social Media Comments
Please stop proving your cool by trying to post funny comments on our page. You would be a lot cooler if you didn’t post on Facebook at all and just knocked on our door and told us whatever you thought the world needed to know before posting.
We Are Not Pets
All parents have nicknames that live with us long after we grow out of our diapers. Please stop calling me Otta, mama, I am a 30-year old man with children.
Daddy Cool? Daddy No!
Worse than Om Kalthoum Daddy is Daddy Cool who is a hundred times worse as they try their best to prove they are cool enough to hang with your friends. No one cares what level of Candy Crush you are on and no, we don’t want to take a selfie. So please hang out with your own friends as we're sure they will be impressed you reached Lemonade Lake.
Something Just Weren’t Meant to Be Haggled
There is a deep rooted Egyptian belief that everything for sale can be haggled down. Despite having the money, Egyptian parents will do their best to bargain down prices. Do we really need to try to save a pound on a pair socks?
Stop Trying To Give Us Away
Despite seeming to relish in embarrassing us, our parents also can’t seem to wait to get rid of us. As soon as we hit puberty they begin matchmaking for us, and pushing us into meeting their friends' children. Khalas Negawezha le Kareem! Why does marrying us off sound as laid back as ordering a Big Mac?