It's hot. CairoScene is here to help.
Summer is here at last - and so too is the scorching 40 degree heat. But oh no, your air conditioning unit is broken... CairoScene presents nine ways to keep cool while chilling out in the city
1. Creating a fort in your refrigerator
If it was good enough for The Simpsons then it is good enough for you. Ok, Mother nature won't thank you but hey, that bitch is the one who caused this fiery mess in the first place.
2. Taking an ice cream bike to work
Taking a taxi/microbus/metro to work is all fine and well under normal circumstances. However in this weather wouldn't you prefer to swap leather seats and distorted sha3by for ice cool treats and a catchy children's melody? Of course you would. But we don't have those in Egypt, so an ice cream bike you can eat from as you ride will do.
3. Create an industrial sized fan out of garbage
If there's one thing Cairo has a lot of - it's garbage. And if there's one thing you could use right now - it's a fan. See where we are going?
4. Fan yourself with Sisi election material
Cairo looks set to be flooded with election propoganda from one Abul Fattah el-Sisi in the coming weeks. Whether it's the posters along the October 6 bridge or the endless ream of leaflets littering Cairo, there's plenty of the former general to go around. So despite the inevitable raft of election promises, why not put Sisi to work right away by using the propoganda as a trusty portable fan?
5. Jump in the Nile
It seems like an obvious choice but the river which flows through central Cairo is the (not so) perfect spot for an afternoon swim.
6. Go to hospital
Of course, a swim in the Nile will most likely lead to a nasty infection requiring hospital treatment - conveniently this is also a great way to keep cool. Delicious hospital air conditioning and tasty nurses on hand to make you feel better.
7. Take the Superjet bus to Sharm el Sheikh
Despite the misleading name, the trek can take anything up to 10 hours. That's 10 hours of air conditioned goodness.
8. Spend your days 'just chillin' at your nearest mall
Everybody knows that Egyptian shopping malls are freezing. As in they are cold to the point where the cast of Happy Feet would feel right at home.
9. Go to the airport
It's currently 12C and raining in London #justsaying.
Or - you could just get your A/C fixed.