Saturday 26 of November, 2022
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Egypt's Most

With all the poor rankings on Egypt's socio-economic situation coming out, we've compiled a list of things we're officially the best at...

Staff Writer

We may not be the greatest country in civilisation anymore, we may not have the most money, the best educational system, the most liberal laws, the most democratic society, the most well behaved men or sexiest women BUT there are plenty of things Egypt has had over the years which we can safely say ARE the biggest, best and most. Much to our chagrin, they are usually pointless but we'll take the titles nonetheless! Here's a list of times Egypt has been a World Record breaker...

1. Also probably should have broken the record for the most boring looking building in the world and the building most people know if they saw it but if you described it they would have no idea because no on you know has ever been or will go in it... The Ministry of Foreign Affairs building is currently the tallest building in North Africa.

2. Taking Egyptian men's obsession with only developing their upper body and leaving their legs to look like BBQ skewers, Mostafa Ismail is the living embodiment of Popeye, probably replacing spinach with koshary and eating Olive too. At a wopping 65cm, he has the largest biceps in the world. He is also probably the man who's most used the line 'Welcome to the gun show!' in the world.

3. We love to eat. Egyptian grandmother's everywhere do not know the meaning of kefeya, not to mention as most of the population do not partake in the haram-er things in life, eating out is all we got. So it comes to no surprise that Egypt has the biggest food court in the world. Oasis takes up 41,000 m² of hard earned Mubarak-era land and has 25 restaurants and cafes with a total seating capacity of 4,223. Although, that includes Spectra which will probably soon have the title of biggest hamburger in the world, not made out of edible meat.

4. Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink... but loads to make the largest crystal lagoon in the world, which has made it's way into the Guiness Book of World Records. CityStars Group developed this aqua monstrosity with world-renowned Chilean Architect Fernando Fischmann. It spans 120,000 m² and is completely environmentally friendly and safe to swim in. We're waiting for the largest mass of children's urine mixed with chlorine to be discovered soon.

5. Adventurer Hisham Nassim set a new Guiness World Record when he drove solo across an inhospitable stretch of the Western Desert, called the Great Sand Sea, then up North towards the Siwa Oasis in a record five hours and 33 minutes.

6. Egypt has won the African Cup of Nations the most times (seven). We're now thinking about approach Guiness for The Most People to Ever Say "kosom el agnaby dah, howa mish 3aref haga" At The Same Time record.

8. The 30th June revolution marked the largest protest in the history of the world. If you believe the army it was 30 million people. If you believe the internet, it's in the Guiness Book of World Records. If you believe the footage maybe 15 million. If you believe Gehad El Haddad it was a couple of people and a batata stand. Either way, it was a shit load of people and we're unlikely to see that many people on the streets, at one time, again in our lifetime.

So there you have it, driving a lot, eating a lot, shouting a lot, and doing weights a lot. Sums it all up really.