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European Bums Finally Clean

London's Landmark Hotel becomes the first European establishment to cater to Arabs' need for anal hygiene.

Some superb news here both for Cairo's jetsetters and British arses everywhere. Guests of London's swanky Landmark hotel have recently been confronted with a strange looking hose object protruding from inside their hotel room toilets. No, silly ma3afin white man, it's not a foot washer or a lavatory microphone, it's a shatafa!

Over 100 shatafas have been installed in the hotel's de luxe bedrooms this summer making the hotel a huge hit with Arab guests whom, as we know, first and foremost, cannot go anywhere without a trusty shatafa. We still don't understand why it has taken this long for Europeans to get on the bum-washing band-wagon and we still don't understand how they always though a bit of tissue paper would do the job.

The Landmark is currently the only hotel in London offering shatafas and  general manager Francis Green claims its Middle Eastern business is up this summer, while most big hotels have seen a downturn from Arab countries. Let's just hope the rest of the continent get a whiff of it and catch on.