Gloria Gaynor & the Revolution
Last night, the legendary Gloria Gaynor visited Mouwafak Chourbagui in a dream, serenading him with the sounds of Egypt's revolution. Trust us; when you read the lyrics, you won't be able to get it out of your head...
When I feel blue and Häagen-Dazs just won’t do, I summon a friend I share a unique connection with and she pops up into my space to bring tranquility to my mind. I am talking of course about Gloria Gaynor. Not only is her name so sexy that it can induce an erection by itself, but her song I Will Survive helped me through many moments of suffering in my life, namely my April 2008 battle with the clingy monster known as bawasir.
What happens is that I close my eyes and picture Gloria’s sumptuous hips swirling around me like a glorious planet taunting its axis. Then I utter the magic poetic words of “a7a el shebsheb daa3!” Suddenly, Gloria appears in front of me, beautiful as always, with a microphone in hand and a hug so filling that it evacuates all anxieties from the system. Now, I feel like a Cairo street on a 3eid day and the healing process can begin.
“Hey there my little basbousa, why the long face? Hemorrhoids back in town?
“No Malteser Mama, this time shit is having it easy.”
“Diarrhea?”
“What? No, I mean there is shit dripping from everywhere. Nothing seems real.”
“What is reality but the limits of your conscience?”
“Ummm ok… But more tangibly, the anniversary of the revolution is approaching and I feel uneasy. The country is divided into camps and I feel alone, like I don’t even have an umbrella.”
“Well wear that hat from that stupid picture of yours…”
“Aren’t we bitchy today? Where is that I will survive attitude?”
“I’m sorry, I always feel edgy when I am in Zamalek. People keep putting aprons on me…”
“Fuck that. Will you survive?”
“You know it, baby. And you will too”
“You think so?”
“Yes. Concentrate on the micro a bit. Build thy self. The macro is too big of a burden on the soul.”
“But…”
“I know…you need me to sing in to you so you can move on and be at peace.”
“You have always been good people Glorz…Serenade me with the melodies of the revolution…”
Hit it Master Zuli (click here for instrumental version of the song so you can sing along):
At first I was afraid I was Morsified
Kept thinking I could never live without the old regime by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how they did us wrong
And I grew strong
Accepted that girls could no longer wear a thong
And so the pack
Entered the race
I just walked around Tahrir
Found bearded men all over the place
I couldn’t help but say “oh fuck”
But they assured they came in peace
So we joined forces for just one second
To fight against Shafik
Go on now go, walk through the door
Don’t turn around now
Democracy isn’t a whore
Weren’t you the one that said the revolution was a pie?
An apple crumble
From which we would all get a bite
Oh no not I, I will survive
Oh as long as I have Him to love
Fingers will always stand in 5
I’ve got all my bubble to live
And I got all my brain to give
And I will survive
I will survive
Morsi came in with strength and then fell apart
Kept trying to feed us the thesis of the Morshed’s heart
And I spent so many nights
Watching the magless on TV
I used to cry
To what was funny when I was high
Then you told me, let’s try something new
Let’s marry little girls and tell Ethiopia Boo
And then you felt like dropping in
With Constitutional decrees
It seems that you were saving all your loving for those in the MB
So go now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
You’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one that tried to close Tamarai?
You think I’d crumble
You think I’d move to Dubai?
Oh no, not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I have Him to love
Fingers will always stand in 5
I’ve got all my bubble to live
And I got all my brain to give
And I will survive
I will survive!
It took all the strength I had to go down from the apart*
Kept trying' to find my driver but he wasn’t a la carte
But then came the shiny knight
To re-arrange the shelf, and Misr 25
Was finally booted a bye bye
And now you see me, somebody new
I’ve got that itchy little urge to start anew
And so if you feel like dropping in
With a little killing spree
You can do so with all my loving, coz they gave no love to me
Go on now go, tank to the core
Point it all around now
Make a Tarantino set decor
Weren't you the one who tried to sell the Sinai?
Did you think I'd be humble?
When it’s easier to digest a lie?
Oh no, not I. I will survive
Oh as long as I have Him to love
Fingers will always stand in 5
I’ve got all my bubble to live
And I got all my brain to give
And I will survive
I will survive, I will serve….vive
*apartment
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