Grateful

In the endless stream of heartwarming support I’ve been receiving ever since I came out in the divorce world, there was one thing I was particularly grateful for. After offering his condolences and ascertaining that there were absolutely zero chances of The Ex and I ever getting back together, my very Egyptian friend delivered the happy news to me: “Don’t worry, Asmaa,” he said. “There are men in Egypt who wouldn’t mind marrying a divorced woman. Even one who has a child. I know one of them.”

I immediately fell to my knees to thank the Lord. Was it true? Does such a man truly exist? In Egypt? One who is so generous in his forgiveness to accept used goods such as myself who also came with the baggage of a somebody else’s son? I was grateful not only for the existence of this rare breed of Egyptian men, but also for the existence of my friend who knows his whereabouts, without whom I would have remained forever miserable in my lack of prospects.

My gratitude did not subside when my friend casually added that said suitor actually already has a wife, and I would be wife number two. I received the news just as casually. Of course I would have to make compromises. Why would I expect anything in the way of normal? Did I mistake myself for normal? I am defective and, accordingly, am more than grateful that a real guy would be willing to consider me.

Neither did my enthusiasm dampen when I discovered that the suitor of my dreams wouldn’t be telling his wife about me, nor that he’d be able to contribute to our life financially because he was kind of in a bind right now. So what if he won’t be able to spend his time freely with me? And why would I need him to support me? I have been managing fine thus far. Why would I want to further burden him when he’s already doing enough by simply marrying me?