Ice Kingdom To Open at Sun City

In a country where heat dominates, we all crave a little cold once in a while. Growing up, we never got to go ice skating when the imaginary lake froze over, never got to build a snow fort, never got to throw snowballs at each other. We threw sand. At the beach. Sand gets everywhere. No one likes sand. And we never got to experience the endless joy of sliding down a snowy hill. But now we can! Sort of.

Sun City Mall will be opening Egypt's first ever Ice Kingdom at the beginning of November. So, although technically we'll still all be wearing t-shirts and jeans because, well, it's Egypt, and we have exactly 42 days of winter, for a few hours, we can pretend we are creatures of the snow! The mall will be home to a 300 metre ice rink where you can head out, tie your skates, and glide around like winter angels, holding hands with your significant other and doing the whole Rockefeller ice rink thing. Except that since we aren’t very well acquainted with the art of ice skating we imagine the scene will be more a bunch of people falling over, clutching to the side of the rink and yelling "da eh da! Eh el beye7sal? Yalahwi! Emsekni ya Ahmed!" and will include a lot of bruised butts. However, we have high hopes that we'll get the hang of it after a few falls and THEN we will glide around like winter angels, holding hands with our significant other and do the whole Rockefeller ice rink thing.

However, even better than the ice rink, as it negates the risk of us falling on our asses, the Ice Kingdom will feature a massive ice slide! SCORE! The slide will start from the third floor of the mall and take you whooshing down the slippery slope on a doughnut. Hello awesomeness! You can pretend you're in Cool Runnings and stuff and yell "JAMAICA WE HAVE A BOBSLED TEAM" as you slide down.

"We actually blew a hole out of the side of the mall to insert the slide!" Mr. Kemal Sofraci, Deputy General Manager of SunCity Mall, tells us. The entire slide and rink are being built by German manufacturers, thereby eliminating the risk of possible death because they were not built by Egyptians. So it's not a Dream Park sort of situation where you aren’t entirely sure you'll survive the ride. We all know how anal diligent those Germans are.

Anyway we're practicing our gliding around in socks as we speak to prepare for the opening. You should be too.