Occasionally the powers-that-be at our mothership MO4 let us out to play. And when that happens, we like to head to the Captian's Inn at El Gouna...
Sorry, couldn’t resist making a little Dead Poets Society reference there. Anyway, back to the topic at hand which prompted our little poetic outburst: the Captain’s Inn in Gouna.
If you’ve ever been to Gouna – and, quite frankly, if you’re living in Egypt and you haven’t, we may have a problem here – but if you have, then you’ve definitely seen the cute Captain’s Inn, located right in the heart of the marina. You know what they say: "location, location, location!". Well we don’t know who ‘they’ are or who actually said that, but it’s certainly true. No one wants to go on holiday and be stuck in the middle of nowhere, even if it’s a royal palace that the prince of Saudi would approve of. Come to think of it though, a Saudi prince would approve of Captain's Inn because, though it might be three stars by name, it's definitely five stars by nature. With perfect service, pretty rooms and palate-pleasing food (literally some of the best in Gouna), you really won't know the difference.
Clearly, you wanna be where the action is, and we all know that when it comes to Gouna, everything happens in the marina (unless it’s an after party, and we’ll get to that). Basically, the cozy, casual little hotel is the perfect walking distance from everywhere worth going to:
- It’s 44 steps from Barten, where the night’s drinking will often start.
- It’s 38 steps from Loca Loca, where the drinking will continue, accompanied by loud music, and everyone you’ve ever known.
- It’s 56 steps from the beach, where the day drinking will occur.
- It’s 23 steps from Pier 88, where a delicious pre-outing dinner accompanied by much drinking will happen.
- It’s 7 steps from the actual marina, with boats and shit, where you might should get on a nice ass yacht and head to an island.
- All the aforementioned distances are absolutely made up, but you get the idea.
Basically, the beauty of Gouna is that you can spend an entire trip without once leaving the comfy confines of the marina area, and if you’re staying in the Captain’s Inn, it totally facilitates that. Now if you ever find good reason to leave the marina (and the only valid reasons we can think of are: going to Hurghada in order to head to Mahmeya or going to an after party at someone’s villa that’s sadly, not in the marina), you still have to get back home at some point. And when it’s 7AM and you’re drunk off your ass and can’t see 30 centimeters in front of you, let alone give coherent directions, you don’t want to spend 40 minutes lost in Gouna, desperately trying to remember if the house you were renting was the second left after the tree with a broken branch or the third right after the midan with a patch of yellow grass. You just need to say 'marina'. And you’ll be there. Oh and also, you don’t have to clean up after yourselves – perks of staying in a hotel.
And it’s not gonna cost you a pretty penny to stay at the inn; its pricing is reasonable enough that you’ll have plenty of money to buy booze and whatever other substances you need for your trip (food… We mean food… Or do we?). The rooms are both big yet cosy and they’ve got comfy beds and working blowdryers – which sounds like a trivial thing, but any girl can tell you, is a definite plus. They also give you a little card upon arrival that gives you access to Moods, they of the floaty colourful things in the middle of the water, where you can watch people with perfect bodies strutting around in swimsuits and feel slightly shitty about yourself but still get to bask in the sunshine on comfy beanbags. If you're less of a beach bum and more of an adrenaline junkie, you're missing the whole point of Gouna. Nevertheless, if you have to do something sporty, Captain's Inn is kite surfer heaven.
Also, they now have the Captain’s Steakhouse right on the water, which you can go to even if you’re not staying at the hotel, but is worth mentioning ‘cause good steak is always worth mentioning. So basically, the next time you want take a trip to Gouna, we highly recommend staying the Captain’s Inn, largely because it will require minimal effort in every area.