St. Patrick Would Want You To Drink And Be Merry
Alcohol does not make you prettier or more successful, but it certainly makes you Irish.
It’s almost time for one of my favourite holidays again: St. Patrick’s Day. Now I’m not Irish at all, but that’s kind of the point of the holiday, right? You don’t need to be Irish to find a reason to celebrate, and instead of wearing green like everyone else, be original and a bottle of Jameson is all the Green you need to party with all your friends, family, and total strangers. Heck, maybe even a parade! All in celebration of one of the greatest medieval-era tough guys that wasn't edited out of history by jealous morons.
As with most events from more than a thousand years ago, reliable facts about the life of St. Patrick are hard to come by. Born sometime around 385 AD, the guy everybody associates with Irishness was actually born in England. I know, you're thinking “No, that's impossible! You've just turned the whole world upside-down!” Well, strap in, guys, because I'm only getting started. His parents were affluent citizens of the then Roman province, and they had a pretty sweet thing going. That is, until pirates came and kidnapped the kid. They forced him into slavery in Ireland and he eventually escaped, returned home, and converted to Christianity.
I know; this is nuts, right? Who knew St. Pat's story involved pirates?
Anyway, Patrick went back to Ireland and set about doing religious-type things, like building schools and churches and stuff, presumably fuelling all the work with frequent whiskey breaks. Ultimately, the guy got promoted to Bishop of Ireland. He's credited with spreading Christianity throughout Ireland, using a shamrock to illustrate the doctrine of the Catholic trinity. They both have three parts, so I guess that makes sense.
It's also said that St. Pat got rid all of the snakes in Ireland. Technically, there has never been any evidence of snakes in Ireland, at all, ever. So, not only did he kick the snakes out, but he also eradicated any evidence that they ever existed there at all. He's just that good.
Let's celebrate the man, shall we? Right about now there are two ways to do that; first, you could head to Cheers on March 16th or 17th (or both) and sip yourself a nice Jameson Irish Whiskey for not one but two consecutive days. Second, you can just be Irish online and post a picture of you and your friends having fun and being original on Instagram with the hashtags #BeOriginalEgypt and #JamesonEgypt - and you better tag @CairoScene, too. If you and your friends are dubbed the most original, who knows, maybe St Patrick might just fly over from Ireland on a rainbow-propelled unicorn and drop off a special gift. Or, you know, you could do both!
Heading over to Cheers for St. Paddy's Day? Make sure you check them out on Facebook here and grab that reservation number. It's bound to be packed.
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