Tuesday 6 of December, 2022
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The Happy List

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens are not a few of Hassan Hassan's favourite things. Surprise!

Staff Writer

This week, I have absolutely no opinion. Obviously things have happened – the parliament has returned from whence it came and something was happening in the constitution. Liberals won in Libya or something, and phrases like ‘ultimate treason’ and ‘power shuffle’ lingered in the air. It’s like I can’t. So I don’t. You know?

Anyway, so due to my lack of reaction/life/thought process, I’m going to share the fuel to my very being; my denial.The light at the end of the internet connection if you will. I’m also making this less of a moan because previous blogs have been called ‘rants’ and ‘complaints’, which bothers me. It’s like I say anything, and I’m told to be grateful and aggressively compared/reminded of starving children in Africa (although I’ve started to feel ‘Starving’ ‘Africa’ and ‘Child’ is a pretty adequate description of my life). Also, somebody recently told me if I was food, I would taste really bitter. This upset me greatly, because if I was food, I would like to be pasta. Or a cake. Perhaps a hamburger. I would definitely be something fun and fattening,instead of… I can’t even think of any bitter foods…torshi? Whatever, everyone needs to shut up. Here are my happy places. Thank me later.



3.Models falling.

4.I just want to die and be reincarnated as Vulture.

5.Proper celebrity scandals. It’s been ages (probably 2009 circa Chris Brown/Rihanna) that I have had an interesting celebrity story. The demise of TomKat has resurrected my faith in celebrity gossip and I cling to every detail. Did you know that Tom Cruise has been divorced three times and that all his wives were 33 when they divorced? There is also a Scientology link, which I forgot because crazy controlling religions scare me.


7.Random artists I can be jealous of.

8.Kim Kardashian crying.


9.Sofia Vergara doing this. Can I also just take a second to say how much I miss television shows? Have they no respect for people who have to work during summers? Do producers/writers/actors know that not everyone is gallivanting around on beaches? Do I not deserve my weekly dose of living vicariously through Dan Humphrey/the maids and butlers in Downton Abbey/that retarded kid in Modern Family? Should I not have an hourly respite to mock/wish death upon most of the cast of 90210? Should that not be possible all year?If I have to work year round, fucking Sofia Vergara can too.

10.Tylenol PM.

11.The 90s. Specifically thisthis and this.


13.… This is super unlucky and I don’t want to jinx whatever I put here. Also this list is hard and this is as much as my attention span can stand.  I hope you had fun?