5 Reasons I Take the Bus to Work in Egypt as a Foreigner

1. The bus is dirt cheap, and I am a penny-pinching cheap ass. A taxi will run me about 8 L.E., but the bus offers a perfectly viable alternative for a mere 1 L.E. I am no great mathematician, but I do know that I just saved 87.5% on my transportation costs.

2. The bus is like a ride at a theme park. Buses rarely stop, so commuters have to ask where its headed and then hop on all within a couple of moments. I pay my 1 L.E., get the greasy ticket, and enjoy the ride. When approaching my destination, I get to jump off the moving bus and hope I avoid oncoming traffic and don’t trip and yardsale my shit all over street. It’s a real cheap thrill.

3. I get to build up my immune system. With all of the nasty bugs and viruses floating around Egypt, an agnaby like myself needs a strong immune system if he wants to survive. No pill or vaccine can compare with one hundred coughing, sneezing, and nose-picking passengers. Beats the hell out of my men’s daily multivitamin.

4. The bus offers an ever-changing taste of Egyptian life. I hate when my bubbled life becomes too routine: home, work, home, bar. I never know when the bus will come, where it will be going, nor who will be riding it. Today there was a lady with a huge trash bag of clothes balanced on her head—quite impressive. Beside me, a mother was teaching her toddler how to throw trash out the window. Great people watching.

5. I consider it a rite of passage. Call me crazy, but I feel that mastering the Cairo transit system (metro and bus routes) will somehow make me more Egyptian. If you decide to take the bus one day, we may run into each other. Secretly, though, I hope that you see my jeans, black v-neck, and Tahrir newspaper and peg me for an Egyptian.