Thursday July 25th, 2024
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11 Ways to Define an AUCian

The things you only see at the AUC.

Staff Writer

11 Ways to Define an AUCian

Dol akeed 7abbit 3yal saysana wi kharbenha bi floos mami wi papi; we beg to differ. Please note that being shabab seees or shmal is not part of this list. Almost everyone always tries to label the AUCian or the AUC culture with some kind of esfaf, alsh, or any form of negativity. Not that we will be doing any less of the saf, but there are various different elements that help define who an AUCian really is.

You either dress in your best or you worst, never in between.

Going to AUC means jumping into a jungle of social judgments and stereotypical labelling. It is important to always try and look good; but, seriously, you're supposedly there to study - not model. On the other hand, you have the pyjama or pymaja-like dress code that goes on. Yes, it can be cool to look like you don’t care; but people, come on bgd, just wearing a pair of jeans won’t kill you.

You shuffle between girlfriends or boyfriends at a seemingly unhealthy rate. 


We don’t want to seem like we are exaggerating with the labelling and the stereotyping, but the truth is, you hear at least four out of 10 people changing their boyfriend or girlfriend on a monthly basis. You single people are just as bad, by the way. Most of you judge these couples based on the social and/or economic status of the partner. Kefaya 3ak ba2a. Shout out and respect to all you long-termers out there!

You know and fear Dr. Gazu (aka The Wolf) even though you may have never seen him.

Everyone knows his name. An unfortunate few have actually seen him. Everyone fears him. The stories and rumours about Gazu are hard to keep track of, to be honest. There is this one popular story about one of his mindfucks; no one can really prove it is true, though. Four students missed an exam and decided to lie by saying they had an accident because of a flat tire. Gazu agreed to give them a makeup exam. He sat them all at far corners in the room and gave them a paper with just one question on it: "Which one of the four tires was flat?" The students all looked at each other in fear of writing wrong answers. Gazu smiled as he gave them their Fs. His name is Ernest Wolf-Gazu, and he can read your mind!

You use the gym to show off your 'hot bod’ or check out hot people. 

Aywa ya 3am el forma! Having a gym on a campus is a convenience that should not be abused. Yet, that little horny animal inside of you has to always come out. Like some kind of peacock, you flex those biceps and pretend to check out your own abs in the mirror because some hot girl is passing by. Girls, don’t pretend to be innocent; you are just as bad. You ride those cycles at such a slow pace just so you can get a chance to focus on the forma guys passing by.

You know that ‘not so secret’ 3at area on the third floor of the library. 

News flash: everyone knows about it. Guys, you go up there and you think no one can hear your creepy sounds of pleasure behind these shelves that are carrying these treasures of knowledge. We feel inclined to say, “Get a room!” or “Kfaya sharmata ya welad el weskha;” but sometimes nothing beats a good old bitch slap. People are trying to study ya ro7 omak menak leeha

You think that PVAians are weirdos, but know they are cooler than you. 

For some reason people label the artist as the weirdo. Art does get better with some eccentricity; but, admit it, you know these are the coolest guys on campus. They are comfortable being themselves, they are talented as fuck, and they are these nice people who wouldn’t stab you in the back to make a new friend. PVAians, you guys rock!

You eat at Butcher’s Burgers because it is trendy, not because you like it. 

"Da mezzayit awi el marra di," "batni wag3ani mish adra bgd," or "it really sucks this time" - things you will always here from an AUCian after a bite at the Butcher’s. Dear AUC, there is a fine line between going for what is labelled to be cool and slowly killing yourself by eating too much oil. Make a sandwich at home ya habayby.

You get lost in HUSS at least once every week. 

Taking your RHET? Majoring in Humanities or Social Sciences? You will either graduate as a badass human GPS, or you will die of old age lost in one of the HUSS mazes. No one understands what the designing engineer had in mind; it looks cool and all, but it’s supposed to be more feasible ya 3am el fanan.

You have spent late nights hopelessly studying at the library. 

This might apply to many different institutions over the country, but none compare to how you guys intentionally cram your week’s work into one night at the library. The funny thing is that you guys start out by wasting so much time socialising and end up having to cram everything into the last two hours before the library has to close. And, guess what? All you ever needed were those two hours. We think AUC should mandate time management courses upon enrolment.

You just despise the Student Union election week, elcampana wi bta3.

Did you vote? Did you vote? Did you vote? Did you vote? Vawwitt? Hatvawwit li meen? UGHHH!! EL RA7MA YA WELAD EL KALB! MISH KOL SANA!! Every year, every single fucking year, you guys run around campus like a plague harassing everyone with that most annoying question ever. 

You chill at the steps because it’s the cool kids’ area, not because it’s near Quick 24. 

The steps! Those damn steps! Seriously, there is nothing special about them, bgd! No shade in the summer, too exposed to wind in the winter, and not comfy to sit on, either. Do you guys really prefer this chronic inconvenience just to gain some form of social acclaim or recognition? Yeah, it’s cool that it is right there by Quick 24; but, so is everything else.

AUCians, rabena ma3ako, w begad begad rabena yehdeeko.