Saturday 26 of November, 2022
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5 Things Egyptians Need to Stop Doing at Open Buffets

This applies to All-You-Can offers as well; you're welcome.

Staff Writer

A great philosopher once said, "you can't judge a person until you've seen him eat at an open buffet..." I bet. It's only when there's a huge table of delish food sprawling before one's eyes is it appropriate to truly tell what kind of a person he is. There's something about free unlimited food that just awakens the animal in each of us and makes us do the unthinkable. For Egyptians, this couldn't be more true. So without further ado, here are the things Egyptians need to stop doing at open buffets:

Don't Starve Yourself All Day

This doesn't technically happen at the buffet itself, but it nevertheless needs to mentioned. "Are you having lunch?" an unaware mother would ask. "No, I'm going to Reham's wedding tonight," a voluntarily self-starving, buffet-devouring Egyptian would answer. This is not the Food Olympics. No one likes the sight of someone who seems as though they've never had a meal. Please do go ahead and have that lunch and save the world this ungodly sight.

Don't Queue Like You're in The Metro

This is not strictly applicable to buffets, but it gets like a dizzilion times more annoying then. We're aware you probably haven't had a bite all day (see point 1) and can't seem to get your shit together for your turn to dig into the food, but how's that anyone's problem but yours? Also, cutting in line isn't going to get you some sort of premium access to the food, it will probably still all be there when you get to it.

Don't Pick Up Food Unless You're Keeping it

How do we make this quick and painless? NO ONE WANTS YOUR FINGER-LACED FOOD. Please, pretty please, don't you be tasting food then putting it back on the serving platter like it's the most casual thing in the world. It really shouldn't be something we need to say. If you're simply not entirely sure you want it, don't take it; how's that?

Don't Pyramids Out of Your Food

Who eats macarona béchamel with molokheya anyways? Why is it that buffets are where common sense goes to die? If you must taste EVERYTHING, then maybe just take a sample of each or better yet, do it over a few rounds. But, and it's a big but, the ungodly sight of a food pyramid doesn't really put you in a flattering light.

Don't Take Food Home

It's only when someone is spotted hiding food away in tiny plastic bags in their purses do they know the true meaning of embarrassment. Open buffets are simply not a chance for you not to have a food budget for the week. Don't do it. You'll eventually get caught and even if no one comments; you'll always be the person that steals food. Do you really want that to be what you're known for?

The above applies to All-You-Can-Eat offers as well, just because you're paying for it doesn't make any of the above acceptable in any form or shape.