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8 of the Scariest Red Sea Monsters in Egypt

It's all fun and games at the beach until somebody gets a foot full of one of the most potent neurotoxins on the planet.

As summer draws to a close, we're all just beginning to reminisce about all the fun we had at the Red Sea resorts and beaches and we're looking forward to a bit more of it this Eid. Little did we know that all of our time spent splashing around in the water we were inches from death. Or, like, a lot of pain. Turns out the Red Sea is just lousy with all sorts of wicked, awful, and gross creatures that can really mess up your day, and even kill you.

Giant Moray Eel

We don't know what you think of when you picture an eel but we can bet it's not this monstrous, 3-meter, devil serpent. Lying in wait in crevasses and reefs, the giant moray bites down on its prey with its horror movie rows of teeth and a pharyngeal jaw. For those of you who don't know what a pharyngeal jaw is, you know how the alien from Alien has a small mouth that comes out of its main mouth to try and bite Sigourney Weaver's cat? That's a pharyngeal jaw. This monster is so awful that's its jaws literally cannot be opened once they clamp down on your fleshy bits, even after it dies.

 

Stonefish

Of the genus Synanceia, the stonefish may look like Fifi Abdou if she was left in the sun but it's actually one of the most venomous fish known to man. Camouflaged as they are, you'll never notice them until you step on them and they pump you full of venom.

 

Lionfish

Covered in poisonous spikes and AKA the devil firefish (new band name, we call it), lionfish are dangerous predators who kind of look like underwater drag queens. And like most drag queens these fish have killed people, so watch what you say about their outfits. 

 

Rabbitfish

So named because their mouths resemble those of cute little bunnies, rabbitfish look pretty inconspicuous at first glance. But just like the famous Rabbit of Caerbannog it's all just an elaborate ruse to lure you into a false sense of security. With its fins covered in venomous spines, the rabbitfish can poison any predator who gets too mouthy, or a tourist who wants to touch the local wildlife.

 

Soapfish

Who names these things, just the first nerd who finds them? Called soapfish because when they freak out they secrete a toxic mucus that suds up the water around them, it won't kill you but it will make you sick and is totally gross.

Cone Snails

Who could be afraid of snails? Their kind of icky sure, but dangerous? The cone snail is literally one of the worst things ever. These guys come armed with more than 100 toxins loaded into a fucking harpoon in one of their tentacles! They lie in wait for some stupid fish to come poking around and then they shoot it like an American with no access to mental health facilities, dead. 

Crown-of-Thorns Sea Star

This is definitely the most heavy metal creature on this list. Look at that thing! It's one of the biggest starfish in the world and each one of its brutal spikes is full of venom that not only hurts like a bitch but also prevents blood from clotting because it feeds on the bleeding suffering of humans.

Fire Corals

Not actually a coral, these tricky bastards disguise themselves as coral just waiting for some stupid snorkeler to stomp on them so they can blast them full of nematocysts (the same evil magic that jellyfish use) and revel in their pain. 


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