Thursday April 18th, 2024
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The 18 Days That Never Happened

The movie "18 Days" disappears off of the face of the earth. Finding no one who has any information we contacted a trusted clairvoyant whose revelation explained everything.

Staff Writer

The 18 Days That Never Happened

In 2011, the multi-cast major Egyptian feature film 18 Days, premiered at Cannes. The two-hour film, made up of 10 short films directed by 10 major directors, revolves around the 18 days of the revolution. The movie, in spite of its magnetic cast (including Ahmed Helmy, Hend Sabry, Mona Zaki, Asser Yassin, Amr Waked, Emy Samir Ghanem, Bassem Samra, and Ahmed El Fishawy), and in spite of the invincible team of directors (including Mariam Abou-Ouf, Sherif Arafa, Youssry Nasrallah, Marwan Hamed, Kamla Abu zekri, and Ahmed Abdallah), has dispersed into the mists of the unknown. According to one of the directors Mariam Abou-Ouf, "In a nutshell it was buried for political reasons." View the trailer, or watch it below, though we don’t know how long it will be available for.   

Upon contacting a clairvoyant, and asking her what happened to the very famous Egyptian movie 18 Days, which has mysteriously disappeared and is nowhere to be found, banned from cinemas and unavailable online, and with absolutely no sign of it even ever existing save for the trailer and some news, we were given the following exclusive revelation...

The following is an extract from a document presented by the Ministry of Education in the year 2020, to be used in Egyptian history curriculum for all ages, and altered according to the age of the student maintaining all the facts. The clairvoyant saw it clearly, and it answers all our questions about the disappearance of the film.

“What 18 days? Oh, you mean the riots. Police officers were assassinated and kidnapped resulting in their disappearance from all their posts. Prisons were attacked letting out dangerous terrorists from the Muslim Brotherhood group, who then took full control of Tahrir Square. Meanwhile the army tried to protect the citizens as much as it could. However the population was brainwashed. People believed they would find salvation in the God-sent group. The army had one of two choices; eradicating the population, or saving people’s lives by allowing the Brotherhood to take over while standing nearby for the right moment to interfere. It is the world’s most secret and selfless ingenious plot in modern history. And so the Brotherhood ruled, and Egyptians woke up from their state of trance, and begged the army to interfere, and so it did. Morsi was arrested, resulting in his secret army made up of thugs, and Orcs, spreading in the streets killing innocent people, and finally taking post in the infamous Rab’aa Square, heavily armed and ready to launch nuclear weapons. The army and Ministry of Interior gave them sufficient warning. They even launched a secret operation saving all children, humanitarian doctors, and journalists before they launched the attack on the mass murdering group. The people of Egypt begged the saviour to become their president, but he refused because he believed the people to be vulnerable and he did not wish to use their vulnerability. It took people a whole year almost to convince him that they needed him and his absolute rule. And so he humbly accepted, making it his mission to arrest remnants of the Brotherhood group, most of which have fled the country and joined their sub-groups Daesh and ISIS. And now peace and security are fully restored and there are no more power cuts. Some Brotherhood agents disguise themselves as ‘human rights’ activists, journalists, and film makers. They are funded by unknown figures who are jealous of Egypt. They are trying to distort history and hide the truth from the masses. Those 18 days were not a revolution, they were riots run by thugs and criminals and must be remembered as such to honour the memory of the true heroes of Egypt who need no mentioning.”

For what it’s worth, the clairvoyant says that in her vision, for some irrelevant reason, she came across George Orwell, author of 1984 and Animal Farm. Apparently he told her he sends his best regards to the people of Egypt.