It's Not You, It's My App

No longer does one have to sit through a sweaty carpaccio at La Bodega trying to reflect the guilt rays beaming out of your estranged partners eyes. No longer will you have to transcend your indifferent intimacy through a BBM 'sadface' emoticon. BreakUp Text is a new tongue-in-cheek iPhone app that will do all the work for you with all the sincerity of a lothario poet.

First, the app asks you a few basic questions like your gender, how serious the relationship was and why you're ending it, then it forms a long emotional break up text for you. We tried the app on our latest ex, Mohamed Morsi....

We can't wait till there's a new iPhone app that will take your virginity.