Saturday May 25th, 2024
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Super Clooney

Known for his green credentials, George Clooney is taking saving the world to a whole new level, revealing today that he spies on Sudanese dictator and war criminal Omar Al-Bashir.

Staff Writer

Super Clooney

Is there anything that George Clooney can't do? Like a fine wine, Mr. Clooney only seems to get better with age, and while he's been at the forefront of the celebrity eco-friendly bandwagon for some time now, he's turned things up a notch with his latest campaigns in South Sudan. The face of Nespresso - a company which has come under fire from sustainability campaigners for the amount of waste a single cup of coffee made by the machine creates - Clooney clearly took criticism to heart, announcing that he'll be part of the newly formed Nespresso Sustainability Advisory Board (NSAB). The organisation aims to improve the processes of coffee farming and help underprivilaged farmers earn a fair price for their labour and output.

Sudan is their focus but coffee seems to be the least of Clooney's priorities. The silver-haired lothario has long been concerned with the politics of Sudan, even having been arrested last year for planning to take part in a protest outside the Sudanese embassy in Washington DC, fighting against president Omar Al-Bashir's human rights abuses - the same abuses that have Al-Bashir on The Hague's 'wanted list' for war criminals. Protesting just doesn't seem to do the same job in America as it does here in Egypt so Clooney has one-upped us by SPYING on Al-Bashir. Try to contain yourself boys and girls - we know how utterly overwhelming the fact that GEORGE CLOONEY is SPYING on CRIMINALS in REAL LIFE is, but here's what he had to say:

"Most of the money I make on the [Nespresso] commercials I spend keeping a satellite over the border of North and South Sudan to keep an eye on Omar al-Bashir. Then he puts out a statement saying that I'm spying on him and how would I like it if a camera was following me everywhere I went and I go 'well welcome to my life Mr War Criminal'. I want the war criminal to have the same amount of attention that I get. I think that's fair."

Yes, that's right. Not only is Clooney living out his film fantasies, but he's comparing the life of a celebrity, hounded by photographers, to spying on war criminals. In that case, he'd probably be better off saving his hard earned cash and sending the paparrazo that took this ridiculous photo of him to Sudan instead: