Saturday July 20th, 2024
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Halal Or Not? Wiping Your Bum...

In this edition of Halal or Not, we tackle the issue of toilet paper. According to Turkish religious authorities, you can now clean your behind with toilet paper after a visit to the bathroom without the added worry of being damned for eternity.

Staff Writer

Halal Or Not? Wiping Your Bum...

The Turkish Directorate of Religious Affairs, known as Diyanet, has declared that the use of toilet paper is officially HALAL! Wooo, cue the confetti, balloons, and toilet paper streamers.

Okay, we had absolutely no idea that all these years there was a debate around whether wiping one's bottom with toilet paper after a visit to the loo would or would not eventually lead us to a fiery death but we're super glad that's all cleared up now.

Our first thought was that it may have been something to do with the fact that the West don't use shatafas so we shouldn't be mimicking them heathens over there but in fact the reason that it was a grey area, is far more convoluted. Hurriyet Daily News reports Diyanet as saying, “If water cannot be found for cleansing, other cleaning materials can be used. Even though some sources deem paper to be unsuitable as a cleaning material, as it is an apparatus for writing, there is no problem in using toilet paper.” 

So just to be clear, you can now feel free to wipe your tush with toilet paper even though it could be used as writing apparatus... So where does that leave wiping our butts with an iPhone?