Saturday July 20th, 2024
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Need for Weed

We look into the medical benefits of smoking weed and how much better Egypt would be if we were all baked all the time...

Staff Writer

Need for Weed

Oh, marijuana. It is an absolute travesty what the majority of the world has done to you. How could drinking alcohol be acceptable, but smoking weed not? You don't hear very often that some stoner smoked pot and went around beating people up or causing fatal accidents. Alcohol is known to make people angry and reckless, often causing serious physical harm. Just ask your liver. The truth is that many fear pot because they believe it is a gateway to harder drugs. It seems a tad ridiculous, considering that it's effects are not as damaging as most of the prescription drugs that people are given for anxiety or depression. Couldn't you argue that smoking tobacco is the ultimate gateway, and is also responsible for a variety of illnesses? It almost guarantees a shorter lifespan but you'd hard pressed to find any cases of Mary J causing health problems.

In fact, it could be said that the opposite is true. Medical science is slowly getting over the fear of researching ganga, and are finding it's use very effective for a variety of health issues. As it stands, research has shown that it can help with the treatment of cancer. Researchers have discovered that it can kill cancerous cells in animals; however this is still up for debate. What isn't being debated is that it can help deal with nausea associated with chemotherapy. Aside from cancer, it can help the treatment of Multiple Sclerosis, ADD, IBS/Crohn's, Alzheimer's, Premenstrual Syndrome, Glaucoma, Migraines, Seizures, and Tourette's Syndrome.

This is what we have learned already, without actually giving the green-light to the world's scientist to find out everything about it. In fact, the leader in cannabis research is Israel. They have no fear of researching its benefits, and often times prescribe to treat a variety of issues. Even in their nursing homes, patients are encouraged and supplied with it. In order to really explain how it works, it would require being very medically technical and would be a 10 page article. Instead, we want you to picture this:

Could you imagine if it was legal here in Egypt? If it were, one could assume that more people would be on their couches, as opposed to being in the street protesting. Traffic would be reduced as more people would prefer to just chill out. Since this would result in a decrease in driving, it could be assume that gas shortages will no longer be an issue. We'd probably take less showers, and that will help preserve the water supply.

The food industry would prosper as delivery services will exponentially increase to deal with the munchies. People would start being able to compromise on a host of divisive issues, as arguing totally kills your buzz. The increase in people staying home would result in a decrease of people throwing their garbage onto the streets. People would start living longer as smoking cigarettes would seem like a waste of time and health, especially when considering it doesn't even get you high. Drinking alcohol wouldn't seem like a necessity when trying to deal with this messed up world. Car searches by cops would be decreased, and maybe they could actually start focusing on stopping real criminals or “terrorists”, providing a reduction in crime.

The government would actually be tolerant to all different view points and our national motto would be "Live and Let Live," while we solve all problems around a drum circle. Sorry, a tabla circle. Finally, a language all politicians can speak! Hotel California will actually start to sound good, and if you already like it, it will sound better. Trance music will be abolished (ain't nobody got time for that) and people might finally start making original music. Tante's 3ezooma will be much easier to handle, as you'll be gobbling up everything that magically makes its way to your plate. Egyptian movies will finally make sense (El Lemby should only ever be watched high) and you'll actually be excited when your friends invite you out for shisha. Kahk will finally have something worth eating in the middle and el spotaya would be everywhere. 

Could you imagine if the world accepted the use of weed on a wide scale? The first thing it would do is probably bring about world peace, as everyone would be in a too euphoric, relaxed state to care what the other was doing. It seems like we are still a far from this ever being a reality, but at the end of the day, it's still legal to get high on dreams...