From the unwelcome sight of Carinas everywhere, to ample amounts of chest hair poking out of absurdly low v-necks, Egyptians and fashion do not get along.
Cities like New York and Paris are known for their thriving fashion scene. Elegance and glamour are on every street corner. The women are fabulous, and the men are chic. Needless to say, Cairo is not one of these cities. We are known for always putting our Egyptian “touch” in the fashion industry. Despite our countless attempts at staying up-to-date with the latest in the fashion industry, it seems we live in a country where fashion comes to die. In attempt to rescue what is left of the fashion scene, we’ve gathered a list of everyday faux pas we encounter in Cairo with their solutions.
1. Pancakes are for your plate, not your face. It seems that the average Egyptian woman has misunderstood the concept of make-up. Contrary to popular belief, foundation is not a way of disguising your identity. It is not a substitute for fake tans nor is it an alternative for B-White cream.
Solution: Apply a bit of foundation on your inner wrist. If your veins are not visible then that is the closest color to your natural skin tone.
2. If you’re going to go through the effort of getting a manicure, the least you could do is take care of it. Leaving your nails to grow under your nail polish or chewing it off is surprisingly not the way to remove your nail polish.
Solution: Nail. Polish. Remover. (Or just don’t wear nail polish)
3. We all know Carina is an Egyptian woman’s best friend, but best friends have a tendency of stabbing you in the back. This may come as a shock to most women, but Carina is like your bra; just because you’re wearing it, doesn’t mean you have to show it.
Solution: The key word is: UNDERgarments.
4. Color blocking is a very famous trend nowadays. While many may think it is simply wearing different colors, there is an art behind it. An art Egyptians do not understand.
Solution: If Tyra Banks can't pull it off, neither can you.
5. The Egyptian belief that any blonde creature automatically is attractive has driven many women to do unspeakable things to their hair.
Solution: Schedule an appointment at Mohamed El Soghayar.
6. Ah, the infamous hijab camel hump. Whoever told veiled women that resembling a Cone-head is in any way attractive was obviously blind.
Solution: Just leave your hijab in peace.
7. El sha3r el mankoosh zai el modelz b keroosh.
Solution: Refer to solution #5.
8. Cruella Devile eyebrows are not, nor have they ever been, "in."
Solution: Do not go for the "evil" look.
9. To all you guys out there who insist on skipping on a belt; It's unattractive, looks extremely trashy, and does not look the slightest bit comfortable. Pants are made to be around the waist, not around the thighs.
Solution: Buy yourself a belt, or find a smaller pant size.
10. Some may say that Tamer Hosny is a successful Egyptian singer, but that does not imply that he knows anything about fashion. Showing off your chest hair via deep v-necks and buttoned downed shirts is not going to bring girls to the yard, but maybe bring girls with a razor to come to your rescue.
Solution: Google 'Crew Neck' t-shirts.
11. The ongoing Egyptian trend of being "forma" is being abused. Of course, being healthy is a great trait to have, but working on making your biceps as big as a matab is not-so-great. Whether it's by those 'all natural protein shakes' or just 'natural' because you're just 'naturally' big, It really doesn't matter. It looks fugly.
Solution: Stop overcompensating.
12. Ana ragel' is a phrase every Egyptian man has said at least once. Hearing a man critcize Justin Beiber's fashion sense is always found in Cairo, yet everyone continues to think they can get away with extra tight pants. 'Meggings' are now being sold at your nearest Zara store. It is not okay to wander the streets of Cairo with the lining of your crotch displayed to everyone is it?
Solution: Loosen up, bro.
13. Jeans seem to be the problem with all men in Cairo these days. Half this list includes men who can't buy a decent pair of jeans, but it's the jeans over-flooded with logos that are just harshly painful to the eyes. It does not mean that your jeans are unique, or that they're 'designer', it just means enak me2avwar. kefayya.
Solution: Less is more.
14. It seems as though men have adapted the act of growing their nails, or should I say 'nail'. Trending is the growth of the pinky nail, which is used to do almost anything; Cleaning out ear wax, boogers, and even removing black heads and eye gunk.
Solution: Buy a nail clipper, or chop your pinky off.
15. Hair code, New look, Royal gel, and Spike are just naming a few. Egyptian men seem to be intrigued by the idea that gel gives them a 'wet look.' The reality of the matter is that it looks like you haven't showered for days, or maybe even months.
Solution: A little bit goes a long way.
16. As you may know, Drogo from Game of Thrones is an A-list man for all girls, everywhere around the world. He does have an eyebrow split, and whether unintentional or intentional, it works for him. For all those wannabe Drogo's out there, it does not work for you. It does not make you look like a bad boy or a warrior, but merely saww. Not a good idea.
Solution: Keep the razor away from the eyebrow.
