Monday December 11th, 2023
Download SceneNow app

Putin Kicks Chuck Norris' Ass

Russian president, Vladamir Putin, has officially surpassed Chuck Norris in Taekwondo. Time to change those jokes...

Staff Writer

Always looking for an opportunity to prove he is a bad ass, Vladamir Putin, has just received a ninth-degree black belt in Taekwondo. The honour was bestowed to him in South Korea from Choue Chung-won, president of the World Taekwondo Federation.

Receiving a ninth-degree black belt means that the Russian president has officially surpassed Chuck Norris, who is reported to only have an eighth-degree black belt in martial art. When accepting the accomplishment, Putin was surprisingly modest saying “I'm not sure if I deserve this.”

Aside from now being ranked as one of the highest certified Taekwondo artist in the world, Putin also holds a black belt in Judo. He kicks so much ass that he has reportedly released a martial arts DVD called Let's Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin.

Since he officially surpasses Chuck Norris, we suggest that all those Chuck Norris jokes that were being tossed around all over the web be replaced with Vladimir Putin. So here we go:

When Vladimir Putin gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Vladimir Putin once went to mars. That’s why there are no signs of life.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Vladimir Putin can piss his name into concrete.

Vladimir Putin is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Giraffes were created when Vladimir Putin uppercutted a horse.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vladimir Putin allows to live.