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The End of the Hangover

A British scientist claims to have discovered a "safer version of alcohol" which will eliminate the unwanted side effects of drinking.

It looks like science is about to bring us a breakthrough worth drinking to. David Nutt, a British neuro-psychopharmacologist, wrote a piece in the Guardian explaining how a safer version of alcohol with none of the side-effects may be introduced in the not-too-distant future.

The new booze compound works by targeting specific receptors found in the neurotransmitter system that result in the familiar relaxing feeling that comes with knocking a few cocktails back. By targeting specific receptors, Nutt explains that “in theory we can make an alcohol surrogate that makes people feel relaxed and sociable and remove the unwanted effects, such as aggression and addictiveness."

The class of drugs that Nutt is eyeing as the alternative to ethanol is benzodiazepines, the very same chemicals found in Valium and Xanax. Using this may be the solution to hangovers and waking up by the toilet, but could also keep you melded to your couch. However Nutt believes that “ideally these drinks would be impossible to get drunk on, producing a moderate buzz with no increase in effects at higher doses, and could be switched off at the end of the night with a 'sober pill’."

As far as we are concerned, this magical elixir couldn't come soon enough, and may be the most important breakthrough in are young lives. The only stumbling block in the road is funding. Nutt is considered a controversial figure who was fired from an influential government position as chair of Britain's Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, for his view that alcohol is more dangerous than cannabis.

It would be pretty amazing if Egyptians were buzzed all the time without any of the aggression. It would probably decrease the frequency of protests, while relaxing the nation into believing we are actually moving in the right direction. With a buzz on, it's hard to get worked up about the sillinesses that define Egypt, and with no hangovers employees might actually get something done.