Sunday 4 of December, 2022
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You Otter Be Ashamed!

Dubai Mall unveils its latest consumer attraction/exploitation scheme; otters which paint and produce works worthy of Van Gogh!

Staff Writer

There’s a theory which states that a thousand monkeys hammering on a thousand typewriters will eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare, well now, a Dubai mall is attempting to produce a similar stunt – using otters.

In a move that’s sure to piss off animal lovers across the world, the Dubai mall has taught/forced four Asian small-clawed otters to paint pictures, Van Gough style, in an attempt to capture the hearts of the shopping pit's disinterested shoppers, as they mindlessly window shop.

To take the exploitation even further, the otters’ art work will be sold to cooing members of the public, who can even choose the colours used by the enslaved animals. 

Maitha Al Dossari, chief operating officer of the mall’s owner, Emaar Retail, said: “Otters are among the favourite species of the underwater zoo’s visitors. With their adorable features and playful personality, it’s easy to understand their popularity." Presumably he made this statement while wearing a mink coat and clubbing a seal. Thankfully, the stunt has already drawn the ire of animal rights groups.

Friends of Animals Dubai founder Montserrat Martin asked: “Why not bring these animals to their natural habitat rather than bringing them to our habitat?” Here at CairoScene we couldn't help but wonder the same. 

However, mall bosses claim that we've got it all wrong. In fact, the animal labour camp is part of the otters' 'enrichment training', rather than purely a scheme designed to 'enrich' the pockets of their captors.

Thankfully the otters have been provided a new playground area within the centre… oh, well that's ok then.