You've got your short shorts and your crop top and that's all well and good but when it comes to hangovers and inexplicable cuts and bruises, here's what you really need to pack.
So Easter is upon us and most of us city mice are leaving the confines of Cairo for greener pastures. Sandier pastures. Whatever. While we realise suitcase space will largely be dedicated to girls cramming in their sluttiest most stylish beachside attire, and guys will be packing their ever-shortening swim shorts, keep in mind that your crop top will not cure your hangover. But some handy pharmaceuticals will! Never underestimate the power of pill popping. Here are some over the counter meds you should have in your bag this Easter
Panadol – This is hangover ABC.
Streptoquin – When you eat crap on holiday - and you inevitably will (hel-lo 5 AM Nathan’s) – and your stomach feels like it’s being gnawed at by fire ants on crack, this will help.
Motilium – In case the Streptoquin doesn’t work. Like when you eat the three day old open pack of Cheetos you find in the balcony because you have the munchies.
Zovirax – For when you let out your inner harlot and hook up with randos on holiday. Cold sores happen.
Eye drops – It’s the saltwater guys. Not the hash. It’s the chlorine.
Nasal spray – If you get hit by the flu. Or if some substance accidentally on purpose falls into your nose somehow. You know how that can happen.
Voltaren – Muscle pains from uncomfortable sleeping situations. The struggle is real.
Power Caps – When you get sick but you need to push through your diseased self and keep on partying instead of wallowing in your own bacterial filth in bed. They may or may not have speed in them.
Fucidin – Because according to Egyptians this will solve any problem ever in the history of everything on your skin. Rash, pimples, blisters, cuts, bruises. Ah ah, 7ot Fucidin. It's an Egyptian national treasure.
Antinal – Because this is the stomach cure version of Fucidine.
Band Aids – Because when you’re drunk it’s all YES I CAN JUMP OFF THIS CLIFF ON MY SKATEBOARD JUST TRY AND STOP ME I AM EVERYTHING AND PAIN CANNOT HURT ME, JUST WATCH ME OWN THIS BITCH. And then in the morning the various cuts and scrapes feel like Hades is spitting on you.
Primperan – This little-known magic pill cures nausea. Don’t say we never helped people’s lives. We’re fucking philanthropists.
Mosquito repellent – When you’re passed out drunk facedown with drool running down your face, the mosquitos will feast on you.
Pyralvex – For when you’ve chewed up the inside of your mouth. Because you were…hungry. You were hungry.
Telfast – Allergies.
Main image courtesy of FreeStock.org via UnSplash.