Sunday June 23rd, 2024
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Nespresso on the Nile

We were treated to all sorts of caffeine-induced craziness on the Nile as the coffee giants celebrated the release of their sleek new Inissia machines.

Staff Writer

Nespresso on the Nile

We went on a little field trip this week and as any fifth grader can tell you, a day out, even if it's to a Victorian museum, is always better than a day at school (or the office, in our case). Thankfully though, our field trip was of the Nile cruise variety and did not involve any museums, thereby rendering it officially awesome. To celebrate the launch of their brand new Inissia machine (which sounds like it will be the name of a new Game of Thrones character), Nespresso Egypt invited a few exclusive munchkins, ourselves included, to spend the day at the Taracina port in Maadi, sipping on delicious liquid magic (i.e. coffee) and taking a Nile cruise.

We headed over there at 1 PM only to find that they had totally transformed the run-down old port and turned it into a little Nile-side Narnia, filled with greenery and flowers (well done gardeners) and decked out with a Nespresso coffee bar and comfy couches and chairs. We were wowed by Nespresso's efforts in transforming the usually unnoticable port into a little slice of Eden and the deck certainly helpedus rekindle an old flame; our love of the Nile. They'd even taken the mini Nespresso capsules, in a myriad of saturated hues, and used them as decorations throughout. Very upcycle-y of them. The coffee kings showed us how, through simple DIY, you can create new (and totes adorbs) décor and how easy changes to our behaviour and outlook can positively impact our community and society. 

We got treated to endless cups of epic coffee, inducing a raging caffeine buzz (and a desperate need to pee) and then got the lowdown on the new Inissia machine. Nile FM's Safi took us through why the nifty little contraption - which comes in black, white, ruby red, vanilla cream, and orange as well as two limited edition colours: Summer Sun and Blue Sky -is fairly awesome. It's small, easy to use, look sleek and gorgeous, and is guaranteed to make you the exact same cup of coffee every single time, at the affordable price of LE1320. So it's not like when your local barista one day makes you a fab cup of steaming caffeine and the next day it tastes like cat piss. Inissia perfects your java every time! Plus, it takes exactly 25 seconds to make a cup of coffee, which is less time than it takes the damn kettle to boil. So even if you wake up thirteen minutes before you need to be at the office, rapidly running out of time and blindly scrambling to find a clean top amongst the cluttered pile on your floor, it will take less than minute to make that much-needed morning coffee. And, catering to our lazy needs as Egyptians (our country runs on delivery), Nespresso can deliver all of their delish coffee flavour capsules to your doorstep. Hoorrah! And there's a flavor to suit every caffeine fiend; the darker the capsule, the heavier the caffeine dose.

Anyhoo, after having the Inissia explained to us, we then proceeded to partake in a drum circle. It was all very good-vibes-be-one-with-the-earth-collective-energy; all that hippie-dippie stuff, which actually turned out to be pretty cool. The drum circle beanie-clad ringleader managed to get a bunch of musically inept people to create funky sounds, aided by this awesome sax player who stayed with us the entire day.

After our palms were officially sore, it was felucca time! And gawddamn, THEY PIMPED THAT FELUCCA! See for yourself below; it was all draped white chiffon injected with pops of colour in the form of plump pillows, and decorated with creative streamers made from crushed Nespresso capsules. There was even a Nespresso capsule chandelier (take note, DIY Instagrammers)! It was not the dingy dirty felucca you took in high school and then proceeded to fall off of once you got wasted; it was what we imagine Cleopatra sailed down the Nile on. We half expected men to come out and start fanning us with palm leaves and feeding us grapes. Sadly, that did not occur, but there was lovely feast awaiting us on the boat. Naturally, we stuffed our faces with mini sandwiches and cookies. The weather was perfect (thank you Egypt), there was a light breeze blowing in our face, and it was the most relaxed we've been in a long time. We even considered pushing someone off the boat so we could stay longer atop our pimped out felucca. Unfortunately, we pussied out on that front, and the boat made its way back to the port, where we parted with our new Nespresso peeps, thoroughly buzzed off caffeine, and with some cool goodie bags.

Now if, you're itching for some caffeine (we're already suffering Nespresso-withdrawal symptoms) order your new Inissia and capusles by calling the Nespresso Club on 16686.